Talking to the void about my Comfort Characters.

 

Sometimes I find a comfort character and think to myself, how did I ever go on about life without them? Silly, I know.

I'm not going to speak much, just make a list of my comfort characters with some explanation. I won't bother to organize them either into fandoms, just at the top of my head.

Arthur Morgan

I'm going to be honest, when I first decided to play Red Dead Redemption two a year ago, I didn't think I'd like it as much as I had. Beforehand I had already tried playing GTA5, and because I figured since they were made by the same company I would eventually just stop playing after one mission.

But then I was reminded why I always had a soft spot for Westerns. Growing up I watched a lot of them with my mom, and watched Gunsmoke a lot with her as well.

Arthur became a comfort character really quick, in a way I felt like he was just a friend-as silly as that sounds.

Charles Smith

When I first heard Charles speak, I knew somehow he would be a favorite of mine. Nashir really did a good job with his voice acting, because there was something soothing every time he talked. A lot of my favorite missions are with Charles, and him plus Arthur are my favorite duo. I really think it's telling that even in the six months he was with the gang, Arthur had a deep respect for him already and just spending time with him in game you can definitely see why.

Hosea Matthews

Last of my comfort characters from Red Dead is Hosea. Like with Charles, you can see why Arthur cares a lot about Hosea. I spent half the game already whispering to myself that they should all just listen to Hosea. 

Hero of Time|Link

Ocarina of Time is a very important game to me, and I grew up playing it over and over. I grew attached to the Hero of Time that sometimes I couldn't get into other Zelda games for a while. 

Rauru|TOTK

Might be something about the voice with him too. I think Rauru gets a lot of flack from the fandom for not listening to Zelda, but honestly I don't know if he wanted to mess with the timeline (if that made sense). I can't get through Age of Imprisonment honestly, because I can't handle the heartbreak again just yet.

Genya Shinazugawa

Last of the characters is Genya. I always say Giyu and Sanemi are my top two favorite characters and they are, but there's a comfort in Genya for some odd reason with me. I relate to him a lot, I come from a family of Seven (I'm the youngest), and a lot of times I feel distant from my older siblings. So it's easy for me to see things from Genya's point of view. 

Opinions on Demon Slayer Characters.

 I was bored, and I haven't really done a blog like this for a while so I figured I would. I will be honest in my writing, and if I say something negative about your favorite character just know these are just my opinions and if you like said character that is fine with me.

Also with my favorite characters I will try to be as honest as can be. And I will probably add songs that make me think of said character.

Just a note there are a lot of characters on this list I'm mostly neutral about. 

Starting with the Kamaboko Squad.

Maybe it was time.

 I don't know how to title this.

To the people who knows me well and my family, the GazettE has always been my favorite band since I was a teen. And while I still have a deep love for them, for the first time since then I can say I have a new all time favorite band.

 Bad Omens snuck up on me.

I kept hearing "Just Pretend" on tik tok so I gave it a listen. Thought that'd be the end of it like most songs I find on the clock app. Then I saw another tik tok where someone was cleaning to Bad omens songs so....I went to Spotify and began listening to more songs. 

Their album Death of Peace of Mind got me through some personal things. Then they got me through my official diagnosis of Major Depressive Disorder/Anxiety/ADHD/Mild Ptsd.

Then Specter came out. I can't count how many times I've played that song. Or how many times I'll put their whole set of music in the background as I play games or write.

Seeing them this past Sunday really solidified my opinion. 

So while GazettE will always hold a special place in my heart (otherwise I wouldn't have my whole right arm tattooed dedicated to their albums), it's safe to say Bad Omens is my personal top band.

A shift in culture.

Ever since I was a preteen, I've been involved in fandom to some degree. It started with DBZ, then Saiyuki and so on and so forth.

The fandom spaces have always been unique in their own way, but much the same when it came to certain dynamic especially when it came to the fanfiction scene. If you didn't like a ship/character/storyline of said fanfiction-it was etiquette to move on. 'Don't like, don't read' was a common phrase I came upon scrolling through fanfiction.net and livejournal. (And Deviantart....yeah, I go that deep....I did purge my account of all deviations though.)

I've noticed recently however, especially after joining the Kimetsu no Yaiba/Demon Slayer fandom, that there are lot of those who get upset if you don't ship the popular/canon ships. Or they treat headcanons as canon. 

Browsing reddit I came upon someone's art post, and they happened to ship ObanaiXShinobu. While I didn't think much of it, as ObanaiXMitsuri is one of the few canon ships I love, a lot of fans were rude about it in the comments. And it made me wonder....

Are people not allowed to even crack-ship anymore?

Back in my Kuroshitsuji/Black Butler days, I had a lot of random crackships. BardXSebastian, BardXMeyrin, Charles GreyXMeyrin etc etc. It was harmless and I had a lot of fun with it, no one bothered me about it (my account had over 1,000 followers at the time.) But this was pre-2020, and I've noticed people on tik tok and tumblr talk about it before that covid is when things began to really shift within the fandoms.

I want to say I don't ship Shinobu with anyone, I headcanon her as aromantic/asexual (because of her circumstances). And yes, I do ship Sanegiyu, but I don't hate on anyone that doesn't. If someone ships ShinoGiyu in a post, I move on. 

Do fans not go by the 'don't like, don't read' rule anymore?

I just want to know if it's just my observation of someone who's semi-active in the DS fandom, or if this is just the norm for most fandoms especially Demon Slayer.

Surviving Mormonism, but it's me never truly fitting in.

 

I recently watched the Docuseries Surviving Mormonism, and honestly while it was quite triggering in some parts-it was a good watch. It really highlighted a lot of things I very well knew, but it was still hard to really watch.

Obviously when a piece of media comes out that criticizes the church, you'll get members who will deflect and make fun of it or 'say it isn't true'. They'll comment 'Well, I've been blessed to be raised/to have joined the church :) God loves you!'. It's very tone deaf and demeaning to comment that especially when somebody is speaking about the real trauma they've endured and the way the Church will sweep it under the rug to keep their reputation in tact.

I grew up a devout Mormon, on my Mother's side we could trace our Ancestry to the early Pioneers (according to my Aunt I think one of my Ancestors was a body guard to Joseph Smith? I never asked to comfirm.) We even had a family in our ward/city that we were distantly related to because we shared the same great-great-great Grandpa, but not the same Grandma. (I could've gone my whole life without knowing that, I hated one of the kids.)

My Mother was born and raised in the LDS faith, she's your typical Caucasian. My Father however, is not, he's Filipino.

The community we grew up in was a mix-up of different characters. Of course within each community you will get that, but the ward I grew up in felt very cliquey. If you didn't fit the narrative of a perfect family, there were those who tended to look down on you. There was a woman in our ward who refused to even speak to my Father, but she spoke to my Mother (and kids) just fine. 

Though my Father didn't really care, he's the type to shrug his shoulders if someone dislikes him. (I wish I were like that....unfortunately I am not.)

I was the last child of Seven kids, we were mixed kids and our parents both worked multiple jobs. They weren't high paying jobs, unlike some families who's fathers either owned Car Dealerships or a welding factory. (Those two family lived in Mansions......we even spent Girls camp one year in their back yard.)

We didn't go on vacations. We didn't get the latest toys, we didn't have the fanciest clothes. I wore a lot of my sister's hand me downs. And I didn't quite fit in with the young women who were all....white. (I don't even know if there was another POC in my group of Young Women.) My Father taught Sunday school to the adults, he was very educated of the teachings of the Gospel. 

Yet people looked down on us.

My Mother sometimes didn't get invites to relief society scrapbook events. A girl my grade didn't tell me about an Achievement day activity even though the leader asked her to tell me at school. I was told Black couldn't be my favorite color. 

When my second oldest brother left the church, another women made a snide comment when she thought none of us were around. "My kids would never leave the church like that."

And I'm not saying that this was the case for all the Ward. If you're going to live by the word of God, there were definitely those who did that in their way of believing. They were kind, sat with me during Girls Camp when the other girls wouldn't sit with me and never once stopped talking to me once I left the Church.

But despite all that, I never really fit in with the ward. My first really good friend in Mutual/Girl's camp was the Granddaughter of one of our neighbors. She didn't attend regular service, but we gravitated towards each other during church activities. 

She didn't seem to fit in, because she had a tongue piercing. (And...she was a POC.)

I was just....there. And then, I got a job at 16 and stopped going to Mutual altogether.

To the people commenting how much they love the church, and love their community-great! I'm so glad you get to have a good experience. 

Some of us didn't have that.

Ranking the GazettE albums.

 This might be a little controversial to some fans, but lately I've been thinking about my personal favorites of GazettE and thought since I haven't written a blog almost all year I'd end this one with a list.

As far as releases go, I am only doing full albums-leaving the singles out despite Remember the Urge being a standalone as well as UGLY/UNDYING.

And despite it just being a rehash-I am including Traces vol. 2 on this list after thinking hard about whether or not it belonged on this list. The songs have been altered enough, it's almost a new album [despite only rehashing old songs.]

With that said this is only my personal opinion, and though an album might rank lower than the others it doesn't mean I hate it entirely. 

So starting from the lowest number, let's get started.

   10. Disorder

To this day I still don't personally own Disorder, for whatever reason I've never got it. I remember the friend I once had burnt the CD for it, but between that and NIL I've always preferred NIL. It isn't necessarily bad, and I know a few fans who wish GazettE would go back to days like Disorder-but I suppose it really wasn't the album for me. I had to debate whether I'd put this above my next album on the list or not, but for now it'll sit at this spot.

   9. Division

Division isn't really an album I think to listen to a lot. For what it's worth I appreciate the band's need to experiment and it did give us DERANGEMENT and DRIPPING INSANITY. But Divsion hasn't always been my favorite album, and to this day I don't think to put it in. [Or play it on Spotify, since I do most of my listening on there.]

I know fans preferred Division to Toxic, but I suppose I was the opposite. 

  8.Traces Vol. 2

I was one of the few who didn't mind the changes of lyrics in Cassis, or how they changed Taion. But I do agree that despite being updated versions of the other ballads, that it sounded a little bit too....manufactured. Other than that I do like the addition of Aoi's live version of his ending solo in Cassis, plus the lyric changed. I know the old version had it's charm with Ruki's English, but it's kinda nice to see how he improved.

 7.Beautiful Deformity

This album gave us INSIDE BEAST, what more do you want? Like Division, despite having INSIDE BEAST and LAST HEAVEN, I don't really think to listen to this album a lot. It's probably the album that made me stick with GazettE even after Division, but after their next couple of releases I tend to stray away from it even now. 

 6. NIL

I really had a hard time putting NIL at number 6. It'll always have a special place in my heart, and honestly will always still be one of the first three albums I recommend to a friend who's interested in listening to the band. It's iconic, c'mon. It probably was one of the first albums I played all the way through, and I wish I could place it higher in my head due to Nausea&Shudder especially. 

 5. Toxic

Go ahead and hate me for putting Toxic above NIL, but I can't really place it lower than my top five in my own head. I just vibe with Vortex, and Venomous Spider Web too much for me to not put it in my top five, I even got a Vortex related Tattoo. As I said with Division, I really did appreciate the experiment they went with this album. A lot of fans didn't like it, but if the band did the same shit over and over honestly would be bored with them by now.

 4. NINTH

This album will probably always have sentimental value to me considering Phase 04. I really do love NINTH, the whole album really is good. I did like the era surrounding this album as well, despite Ruki's velvet suit. I still think of NINTH era a lot, and I'm glad it happened. 

 3. DIM

I really loved DIM, I think a fan said it before that DIM was really the album where Kai started to show his true....power. [I think they said it more snidely, like it was when he realized he was a drummer?? Whatever. LOL] I started to notice him a lot more in songs during this time, and I really appreciate him for it. I think he's really the one who shone in this album, so I'll give credit where credit is due. 

 2.DOGMA

In the past year alone, DOGMA has become my favorite album. Despite being only number 2 on this list, I've grown so attatched that DOGMA was probably my most played album from this band all year. I am also planning a tattoo around it, but I won't go into much detail about that. 

 1. Stacked Rubbish

This was the first album I ever got from them, so of course it's going to be number one. Plus it has a lot of great songs on it, especially Hyena and Burial Applicant. Chizuru is also by far one of my favorite ballads of the band, I wish they had at least touched it for the Traces album, but perhaps it was good enough that it didn't need an update.

---

Well I didn't have much to say in terms of why I chose this order, so I guess it really isn't much of a fun read. But I had fun talking about it anyways.

Until next year.

                                                                         

Naraku villagers.

Like almost everyone in the world right now, I have Animal Crossing New Horizons. I played Animal Crossing for a long time now, but the main games I worked hard on was New Leaf and now New Horizons. (I did play the original + City folk and Wild World; but those never felt like my games and I never really had a say on the villagers we had or kept.)

I've had villagers come and go in New Leaf, and probably will be the same with New Horizons. I'll probably even lose some villagers I love, but will try to keep them for as long as possible. So while thinking about this, I decided to voice my opinion on every villager (that I remember, there was a lot in New Leaf) I had in the town of Naraku.

Speaking of New Leaf, I still check on my town because I worked too hard on my town to let that game go.

So with that out of the way, let's go ahead with the list. (Also because I'm lazy, I'm not going to post pictures, but I will post what kind of villager they are -if I remember the personality I'll post that too.)

1. Frank the Cranky Eagle-Well, what can I say? Frank is my homeboy. Right now in New Leaf Frank is the only original Villager left, and I'm very sad that he is cause there were a few others I wish would have stayed. But Frank stuck with me for the 7 years I had the game, so he's the the most loyal of them all. He's also the one villager who I have the most pictures of, so I guess that says a lot for me. I know people say he's forgettable, but I don't care. Frank is one of the best villagers I've had and I can't wait to get him in New Horizons.
2. Lyman the jock Koala-Two of my friends have Lyman in their town and I am so Jealous. Like Frank he was an original and I really liked him. I guess a lot of people don't like him either, call him ugly, but he's seriously so adorable. I guess I'm not one of those players who only like the cute villagers, however I'm not going out of my way to put him on my island as I'm saving for something else. 
3. Broccolo the lazy Mouse/rat-To this day Broccolo remains one of my favorite mouse villagers, and he was the one OG villager I was sad to see go. I don't think I'll make an effort to have him on my island like Lyman, but if I see him on a random island I'll think about inviting him. (After kicking Chadder out.)
4. Gayle the alligator/croc-I think she was either a normal villager, or an uchi. But thinking about it now I doubt she was an uchi. She was super sweet and when she decided to move away, I let a friend have her so I hope they took care of her in their village. I would have her on my island in replacement of another villager too, so I might try to find her card. 
5. Fauna the deer-Out of all the female villagers I've had, other than the next one I'm going to list, Fauna is a favorite. I can see why a lot of players want her and like her. I don't think I'll have her on my island as I don't think she'll get along with one of my villagers, but I hope to have her anyway. (Said villager might be leaving soon anyway)
6. Diana another deer-I thought Diana was boring. I liked her at first, and she is cute, but I didn't really talk to her and didn't feel any sort of way when she moved away.
7. Bianca the Leopard-I would die for Bianca and I refuse to let her move away. I don't think she's an OG I don't remember, but she's also been in my town for a long time. I love her to bits.
8. Zucker the Octopus-Honestly the best boy. He looks like Takoyaki. I don't have anything else to say, he moved in while I lost my game and don't know him very well.
9. Shari the Monkey-Shari did nothing wrong.

I had more in my old New Leaf town, but the list is getting too long and I think I'll stop as far as New Leaf is concerned.

Now my current villagers on my island on New Horizons, now that I've spent quite a bit of time with most of them I'll rank them from 1-10, 1 being the best of the best.

1. Muffy the Uchi Sheep-She's the queen of the land, the realest of them all. I love her, she's so kind to everyone, but keeps it real. She doesn't understand why Anicotti is so stubborn either with friendships and tries to help her stop being so stubborn. I love her, and I'm glad she gets along with Knox too because that means she probably will get along with Frank when he comes to the Island finally.
2. Merengue the Normal Rhino-She certainly doesn't look normal. But really, I like Merengue, I think I made a good choice asking her to move to Naraku and I would probably die for her. 
3. Alfonso+Sly the adorable alligator/crocs-I listed them both together because they are both adorable and I can't pick one over the other. They naruto run a lot, I wonder if they watch the show together too. Sly is the buff one, and Alfonso is the Lazy one. I love them both and get mad when my snootier villagers insult them.
4. Knox the Cranky Chicken-I love Knox's concept to be honest, and when I saw his house I fell in love more. He has CASKETS in his house, he's so badass. And he's my bro, he's the only villager who's straight up given me medicine when I got stung by wasps. 
5. Norma the normal Cow-She's alright. She's been really snippy with Alfonso though, and now Sly so I don't know what to do with her. She does like to randomly gift me things, but I feel like she's only buttering me up. I'm watching you, Norma.
6. Annalise the snooty horse-She's snooty. And rude. But she's alright I guess, I just won't be sad if she goes.
7. Chadder the smug mouse-Who decided Chadder was a good idea and who decided he was going to be my camper? I want him to leave.

Welp, that's about it. I'll add on maybe as I get more villagers, but for now this will do.

Until next time.

Ruki+his pokemon

I really had a hard time deciding if Ruki would be a Psychic type gym leader, or a Dark type gym leader. The more I think about it, the more I think he'd lean more towards the Dark type pokemon.

Though I do see him sporting an Espeon sometimes.

Ruki-Dark type Gym Leader

Umbreon

• It's clear that Ruki favors umbreon out of the rest of his pokemon.
• Usually the first pokemon he sends out.
• Like Uruha, he had Umbreon since it was just an Eevee.

Thievul

• Because of his appearance, he secretly calls him Reita.
• Usually the third pokemon he throws out depending.
• Like with Umbreon, had him through his pre-evolution.

Houndoom

• Possibly his favorite pokemon second to Umbreon.
• Used a mega-evolution stone on him.
• Secretly calls him 'Aoi'.

Morpeko

• He honestly saw one in the wild one day and just had to have it regardless.
• This one he nicknames Kai.

Obstagoon

• Obstagoon is the only one of his pokemon who appreciates rock music like he does.
• Sometimes tries to teach him to sing, though never works out.

Alolan Persian

• Honestly like with Morpeko, when he saw the Meowth he had to have it.
• Persian likes to curl up close to Ruki while he relaxes.

---

As a trainer I feel like Ruki's biggest rival would be Reita, or Uruha. He doesn't take himself too seriously however, despite how serious he looks.

Uruha+his pokemon.

I'm continuing one with my GazettE+Pokemon teams with Uruha.

Uruha-Ice type Gym Leader

Alolan Ninetales

• I've always kind of seen Uruha with a Ninetales, but never with any other fire type pokemon so the Alolan form is perfect for him due to it's ice/fairy typing. 
• I feel like Uruha would have a very close relationship with this pokemon.

Dewdong

• Usually the first pokemon he sends out.
• Probably the easiest one to beat out of his crew however.

Glaceon

• Raised this pokemon since it was an Eevee. 
• Secretly calls her Ruki simply because he's so ICY COLD.
• I honestly just wanted a reason to put an Eeveelution on his team.

Frostmoth

• I honestly have no idea.
• He was lowkey glad when it evolved from snom because he wasn't too much of a fan of it's pre-evolution form.

Lapras

• Of course he'd have a Lapras on a team, she's just as majestic as he is.
• She's the one he dynamaxes at the end of every match.

--

I don't have much to say, I wanted to give Uruha a full team, but I feel like he'd have only five pokemon on his team when you battle him. Plus I don't know much about Ice Type pokemon as I usually don't have any on my team aside from Glaceon. I don't like the Ice typing to begin with competitive-wise, though I would like to use Lapras through one playthrough at least.

I'll do Ruki next, I wanted to do Aoi next but I'm having trouble deciding what type of pokemon Aoi would have. 

My team that beat Leon in Sword+my current team.

I beat sword a while ago, and while I'm not the best pokemon player out there-I like to say I know enough to get myself through the main story. Though it's funny to say which pokemon took down Raihan for me.

Playing Pokemon, well I really do get attached to my team. Some more than others, meaning halfway through I'll switch out pokemon here and there. There's just some pokemon that are going to stay on my team no matter what, unless I do finally decide to delve into the world of Competitive play, but I'll save that adventure for something else.

So I'm here to show off the team that beat Leon the Champion, and are pronounced as Galar Champions.

Cinderace-Nickname: Reita

Cinderace/Reita has been the pokemon to get me out of the most jams in battles. With what I think is his most powerful move on his list as pyroball, I definitely think that pokemon beat aeigislash (?) for me for sure. While I'm not sure how well he'd do competitively, I'll definitely keep him on my team should I head that route as well he started out with me on my journey and I'm a firm believer of keeping a starter on your team.

I named him Reita because well scorbunny reminded me so much of the bassist of the GazettE. What with his nose bandage and what not. 

Cinderace is probably one of my favorite starters I've ever had.

Lucario-Nickname: Ruki

I'm not going to lie, I had two other pokemon with the nickname Ruki prior to Lucario, but once I saw him in the wild I knew he had to be on my team. It's almost a given with me, much like any eeveelution, that a Lucario has to make it on my end team. Like with Cinderace, not sure how well he'll stand up in competitive, but he's also gotten me out of a few jams.

I really love watching him in Pokemon camp. It's so cute to watch him Naruto run around the camp. Lucario is one of my favorite pokemon to have on any playthrough on any game, so I'm glad I got to find him this time around.

Ninetales-Nickname: Uruha

I never got a Ninetales on my first playthrough of Silver, and I never got one until after my playthrough of Y so I was always bummed about that. I never got to have one until my playthrough of Let's Go Eevee, and was so happy to find Ninetales while browsing the dens in the wild. Like with Lucario, I knew this pokemon had to be on my team!

Yeah, I know I already have a fire based pokemon with Cinderace, but I couldn't help myself. I definitely think out of the two Ninetales may be stronger as well.  Plus my Uruha is always a happy pokemon, he definitely does loves camping. 

Eevee-Nickname: Aoi

I was so happy to get a free Eevee just for having played Let's Go! Eevee, but when I found out I couldn't evolve him....I was a tad bit upset. I know it keeps up with the theme of the original game, but this isn't the same Eevee....right?

Either way I kept him on the team until the very end, may seem stupid to some people but I was hoping to find an Eeveelution somewhere so I could just trade them out. Never happened. But Eevee was the one pokemon who beat Raihan for me, at the very last second. He definitely earned a spot on the list, unfortunately I did switch him out eventually; but I salute you, original Aoi.

Boltund-Nickname:Jui

I might actually see some Pokemon fans scratch their heads at this one, but like Eevee I've never had the heart to take him off my list. He was there from the beginning of my journey, it seemed silly now to replace him with another electric type. Besides, I like the concept he has, and I know it may seem boring to some people-but there's just something charming about him.

I probably will replace him if I ever get my hands on a Jolteon, but for now Boltund is there for me and I wouldn't have it any other way.

Gyrados-Nickname: Kai

(Okay I can't find a good pic of Gyrados for some reason? I figure most fans know what he looks like anyway, so....)

Anyway, I did grab Gyrados out of necessity for the team I believe on the second to last gym. So I figured I'd keep him all the way through to the end of the game and he really did wonders for me. I did end up replacing him eventually for the legendary of the game, but Kai really did have a good run. I do send him on pokejobs often so he can stay in shape.

----

So that's it for my original team, the one that shows up before I boot up the game now. They're the Galar Champions, the ones who really pulled it through for me! But I do have two on my team now that follow me post game, one of them I'm really happy having.

Zacian-Nickname: Good Boi (don't laugh at me lol)

I honestly don't use him much in battle unless I really feel like I need to get out of a pickle, but I really do love his fairy typing anyway. I find it interesting, and his one move Behemoth blade is an amazing move.

I also love seeing him in my Pokemon Camp, he just looks so out of place and honestly hilarious to watch him interact with the other pokemon.

Vaporeon-Nickname: Aoi

Ah the one who replaced the original Aoi, though I tell myself he just finally evolved into what I truly meant to evolve him into. Yep, I tried to evolve the eevee I got for free into a Vaporeon, but I wasn't allowed to do that. My boyfriend definitely laughed at me when I saw this one in the field and accidentally killed it the first try, but I eventually got him.

I haven't used him a whole lot yet or spent a lot of time with him in Pokemon Camp, but I feel like Vaporeon will do me well once I start trying to do Competitive. 

---

I hope you liked this post, if not oh well. I mostly did it to look back on my team, I love them so much even if I did have to switch two of them out. 

Until next time. 

My top 6 vocalists.

I did this before, but because I feel like that list doesn't reflect what I like now, I'm going to just update it again. While I do have a lot of vocalist I like, these vocalists have a personal reason as to why they are on this list.

6. Taehyung of BTS

Taehyung really has a nice voice, a deep soulful voice which in all honestly goes underutilized a lot of the time. I know there are certain dynamics in being in a k-pop group, and I know recently Taehyung has been able to release his own songs and have more lines in BTS songs....I just wish they utilized his voice a lot more.

I really loved Singularity as a come back song, but that one didn't seem to get as much hype as the other members? Or maybe that's just my point of view as a casual fan. I do like the other's voice and they compliment each other very well.

5. Brendon Urie

I've seen Panic! twice now, and honestly waiting for a chance to see them again. I really just love Brendon as a person, and as a performer. I honestly didn't like the Me! song he did with Taylor Swift, but then again I'm not big into Swift to begin with so that could factor into it.

However, I believe Death of a Bachelor really showcases his talent as a vocalist and as a musician. 

4. Masato of coldrain

Another vocalist I would jump at the chance to see perform again. While I don't like putting him at number four, he would definitely be higher up if I was talking about strictly the J-rock/nu-metal type of music I usually listen to. However, I do like his voice in his slower songs, and once again like Brendon I love his personality.

I really liked how he vibes with his audience, I feel like if you experience coldrain at all it's best to try to experience them live. 

3. Jui of GOTCHAROCKA

Jui seems to have this charm to him, having been following him since VIDOLL I can definitely tell. While his vocals may sound like your typical Vkei band, I really do like his style and love listening to him. His vocals in the acoustic version of ASH is truly amazing, and I only wish to be able to see them live one day.

2. Ruki of the GazettE

I've stated before in the last list that yes, Ruki is still my favorite vocalist that is active in the scene today. I do hold a lot of respect for him, as his vocals have improved from his indie days, and I really love to hear him sing live. He's theatrical when it comes to his performance, and he does seem to take care of his voice. (Aside from the smoking, but he hasn't really smoked lately....I don't know.)

Anyway, I really feel like songs like Undying and Deux do showcase his talent very well. 

1. Isshi formally of Kagrra,

I feel like I've said it so many times before that Isshi meant a lot to me. He was the introduction to the J-rock scene for me, and honestly there will never be a vocalist like him. I feel like a lot of bands may try to emulate what Kagrra, did and maybe succeed-but Isshi added something to the band that was just very special and very hard to replicate.

Isshi will forever be number one in my heart, no matter what happens.

Here's to a new decade|Concert experiences in 2019 and planned concerts for next year.

I wanted to make this super personal, and super meaningful because we are going into a new decade.

But honestly, I'm so tired mentally and physically I can't even process what exactly I really want to say so I'm just going to go over a few favorite memories of mine.

This year I've only been to 3 concerts, which now that I think about it was my concert count last year so it was about the same. 

The first concert was One Ok Rock, and while I briefly made mention of what happened on my twitter, I never really talked about my experience seeing them. I'm honestly still just a casual fan, and one of the main reasons I decided to go was to support a Jrock band coming to Utah for once. I thought it'd be cool to see them, but I wasn't super hyped on being up front and all that jazz.

I honestly had an okay experience seeing them, I don't quite remember the opening bands other than Waterparks who I honestly wasn't impressed with. I don't know if the venue just had bad sound quality, but I can't say that they did because I was able to understand Taka when he sang. But the lead singer of Waterparks was just very hard to understand and I didn't quite like the crowd they brought in.

And One Ok Rock did a great show, I liked their set, and their personality on stage was cool. I just didn't have the greatest experience because of the girls in front of me. I know you get lost in the moment in concerts, and they're always going to be crowded no matter what. But I could hear them giggle at the fact that they were so tall people behind them couldn't see.

And the two people who were behind them? Two small girls, who were there with their mom. Their mom tried multiple times to move them so they could see, but the tall girls would see and move in front of them. I got so irritated with them, and slightly irritated with myself for not saying anything to them.

Then when the drummer threw their drumsticks they fell on me trying to catch it, causing me to fall on top of another girl. I turned to the girl behind me and apologized, asking if she was alright and she said she was. We looked to the girls who caused us to fall, but they only sneered at us. Yeah, not the greatest experience overall, but it was still nice to sing along to the Beginning.

Probably should've stuck to my plan of sticking in the back however.

The next concert was GazettE obviously, and my personal experience was great. I seized the opportunity to be right on the barricade on the left side, right in front of Aoi. (Olli if you're reading this, again I'm sorry for just running off on you lol)

Honestly the whole concert was kind of a blur, I do remember specific parts where I interacted with Aoi and he shook his head at me a couple of times. I did meet a nice fan next to me, and we had fun rocking out with each other which made the experience a lot better for me. I also remember during the last song on their first set (Unfinished) I got super tired and sank against the barricade, my arms just dangling in the front. 

Aoi saw that I wasn't jumping and clapping my hands with the rest of the crowd, motioned me to do so, and so when I did he nodded and gave me a smile. I also remember when they were leaving after Encore, I threw my fist at Uruha for some reason, so he kind of threw his back up at me. (I wondered if he remembered cause he gave me a look during Meet and Greet lol)

Meeting them was great too, I wrote a blog about that already, but here's a recap of what I remember. 

• With Aoi I said thank you, gave him his shirt, and said thank you again. I do regret not saying any more to him, but the girls in front of me were rushed so I thought we were going to be rushed. (I learned later we wouldn't have been, sad.)
• I barely remember Reita other than what he looked like up close, I said thank you to him and he said it back. I believe he put his hand over mine as I held his hand with both my hands though. I did get caught between him and Ruki for a moment so I just swayed back and forth. I still regret not seeing the Offspring the week prior to gift him with Offspring merch. Next WT.
• Ruki is the one I feel like I had the most time with, but the one I confused the most. I gave him a fennec fox plushie, but instead of just handing it to him I put it on the table and said it was for him. He went to grab it, but I went for the handshake (I'm awkward, so sue me) I was so relieved at how pleasant our interaction was anyway, as ironically he was the one I was most nervous to meet. 
• With Kai, I really had no idea what came over me, but the minute he turned to look at me from watching the girl in front of me leave I just shouted "Kai!!!" and like....threw my hands up a little. It was almost like I was seeing an old friend after a long time. I think that made him happy, and I don't really remember what I said to him other than 'thank you so much'. 
• Uruha did the same thing Kai did almost, where he watched the girl in front of me walk off before turning to look at me. Except he like.....slanted his body a little? I don't know how to explain it, but he stared into my soul a little and I was almost too nervous to even touch him. I did the same thing with him I did with the other four, grabbed his hands with both of mine and bowed and said thank you. I remember looking up at him as I came back up and he just gave me his squinty eyed smile he does so much and I said "Thank you" again before running off towards the exit. 

Honestly that was such a good experience for me, aside from a few things that happened during my Dallas trip. I felt sad walking away from them not knowing when or if I was going to see them again, but I'm glad for the experience nonetheless.

The last concert I'm going to talk about is Hyde. Unlike the other two, he was just an opener for another band, but I really did like his set and his style. I didn't get to see a lot of him as he played a lot in the dark with his mask being the only thing I could see in the dark. But Hyde is such a great performer I forgave him for that.

Starset's set was pretty good, but I left like halfway through because I had a pounding headache and I just couldn't handle the crowd anymore. I do remember some of the Japanese fans hounding wherever Hyde probably was staying during the show, and I kind of cringed at that. Reminded me of that video of GazettE leaving Dallas Bomb Factory, left a bad taste in my mouth.

Also reminded me almost of a Saesang (a crazy kpop 'fan').

Also before I forget, the first band that played in that concert did an awesome cover to Africa by Toto so that was fun.

That's it for my concert experiences in 2019, I did go off on the GazettE, but whatever. The only concert I'm hoping to see next year so far is Hayley Kiyoko, but we'll see where I'm at in life when that rolls around.

Until next year.

Reita's pokemon team

Reita-Gym Leader-Fighting Type

Lucario

• Reita would probably be one of the later gyms you visit, so he's got relatively strong pokemon.
• Lucario being the strongest, possibly the one he sends out last and ends up dynamaxing.
• Reita has a special bond with this Lucario, as they've been pals long before he became gym leader.

Blaziken

• Why wouldn't Reita have a fire chicken that is also a fighting type pokemon?
• Honestly wouldn't put it past him to spam flamethrower. 

Hitmonlee+Hitmonchan

• But of course he has the two OG's of fighting type pokemon.
• Depending on the game/adventure you chose, he could use one or the other.
• Favorable towards Hitmonchan however.

Machamp

• Reita works out with him all the time, probably why he keeps losing his pokemon battles. Too much exercising, not enough training his actual pokemon.
• Second battle with him he definitely buffs him up a little, becomes a real challenge.
• Reita definitely uses him on Battle Tower. 

Emboar

• Another fire/fighting type duo.
• Raised him since he was a tepig, was pleasantly surprised at his evolution.

----

Reita wasn't too hard, I just didn't have too much to say about it? A lot of these pokemon I chose based on his personality as well, so that's why I included two fire type duo pokemon. Plus I doubt Reita'd be a hard gym leader to beat, even if he's one of the stronger ones. 

I just see him training for the fun of it, and that's why he's a gym leader.

the GazettE and their pokemon teams part 1 (Kai)

I thought of this post for a minute, and decided to make it a fun little blog post purely for my own entertainment. I did do a lot of thinking of what type of pokemon they would have, whether or not they'd be gym leaders, or just trainers as well. So that also went into the thought of whether or not they would have a more diverse team rather than being specific to one type.

Kai was thought out first, with the help of my best friend who's also a Kai stan.

We decided he'd be more Ground type, possibly even Rock type. I really just decided he'd be one of the first gyms, if not the middle that you visited on your journey.

Kai-Gym Leader-Ground type Pokemon

Cubone/Marowak

• Definitely would have cubone on your first encounter, but on your second it would have evolved into Marowak.
• Our reasoning for Cubone/Marowak is basically he's perfect for Kai, as in this alternate reality I think Kai'd be heavily into drumming and what better partner to have than Cubone?
• I also think Cubone would be with him from the very beginning, serving as one of his family's original pokemon who went on him on his adventures.

Nidoqueen

• He wouldn't have her on your first encounter, but definitely on his second encounter. 
• Honestly haven't thought of a backstory as to why he has her, or how she became apart of her team-but something along the lines that he saved her from some sort of abuse possibly.
• He's rather affectionate towards her, protective even though she can very well protect herself.
• She's a very fierce pokemon and is the one that brought them to be almost champions.

Flygon

• First encounter this was a Vibrava.
• Another pokemon that's been with Kai since very young.
• Usually the third pokemon he throws out, but considered one of his toughest pokemon because of his dragon typing.

Wooper

• Has him for the first encounter, but discontinues to use him after that. Though in storymode he's still seen by his Master's side from time to time.
• In possibly future battles, like a battle tower type deal, he'll bring Wooper back evolved into his Quagsire evolution.

Mudsdale

• Has him during both battles, including the possible Battle Tower match.
• Usually is the one he dynamaxes during battle if possible.
• Uses him as a means of transportation.

Sandslash

• Had him as a Sandshrew in the first battle, and evolved into Sandslash for the next two battles.
• Is usually one of his easier pokemon to get through if you use water type against him.
• If he didn't dynamax mudsdale, he could possibly dynamax Sandslash.

-----

Kai wasn't too hard to figure out, as I've always seen him with Ground type pokemon considering I've always seen him with a Cubone.

Because I haven't really thought out the rest, I decided to make an individual post for each member whenever I come up with a team for them.

So that's all for now.

Shoya Ishida+Redemption|A Silent Voice

A couple of nights ago I finally broke down to watch A Silent Voice on Netflix. I've always had the idea of what this anime had been about, but I really wasn't ready for all the emotions I was going to feel.

Given the flashbacks to understand the beginning of the movie and why the character was doing what he was doing, I actually didn't like Shoya. Possibly because I saw every negative trait that Shoya showed, in myself, and this held true until he got into High School. 

If you know the context of the story, Shoya is the one that bullies and harasses Shoko-a deaf girl who just transferred into his elementary school. While the topic of bullying hits close to home for me, considering my own personal experiences with boys like Shoya, it's his path of redemption that makes me wish that this was still true for me. Most of my bullies continued to either bully me or ignore anything they've done well into High School.

So why am I feeling like I relate to Shoya of all people?

After being shunned by his classmates, especially those he considered his best friends, Shoya develops anxiety when dealing with people. He shuts them out by not looking anyone in the eye, hence the x's that are drawn on each character's face, and he refuses to hear the noise that surrounds him. He refuses to listen.

A lot of the time, I feel like I've dealt with this type of problem. 

I went through High School like this, and it's his way of coping with his guilt from his past is something that I feel all too familiar with. 

Out of all the characters in the show, other than Shoko of course, I feel like Shoya is the one who is actively trying to right the wrongs of the past. He tries to make amends, though he doesn't know exactly how to go about it in the beginning. I feel like even if he couldn't properly apologize until the very end of the film, his goal of trying to make Shoko feel loved and to love herself was noble and a brave act.

He could have been like Naoka and push all the blame onto Shoko.

He could have been like Kawai and denied his participation in the bullying.

But the fact that he was actively trying to be better, trying to make it so that they could all at least be friends and civil with each other......well that's brave on his part. Which is why his development was so important, and something to admire even. 

I was going to close this with something smart, but I don't know how else to end this topic. (Note: It's been sitting in my drafts for like two months waiting for me to come up with more to say.)

So I hope you enjoy my thoughts on it anyway.

My introductory to Visual Kei|Kagrra

Sometimes I think about how I got into Visual Kei, and my stance on the culture now as opposed to when I was first introduced to it. Some friends, and even most of my family, think that the GazettE is the band that started it all-that they're the ones that introduced me to this thing I am still kind of into to this day.

However, if it weren't for Kagrra, a somewhat underdog when it came to the overseas fandom, I wouldn't even have thought to give them a chance. (My logic was a bit off when I was fifteen, but I must say I'm sort of grateful that it was.)

At the time of my friend introducing me to Visual Kei, and thus digging me into a hole I probably will never get out of, I didn't listen to much heavier music than Metallica or Three Days Grace. If you played a song like.....LEECH to me when I was 12, I would've probably said "Ew, get that screaming out of my ear." 

Music tastes change, and mine certainly did.

I've said on twitter how she composed a playlist/CD of songs she think I'd like. And none seemed to catch my eye, but among the songs composed by Kagerou and Dir en Grey, I picked up on a unique voice. 

The first song I ever liked and really dug was Satsuki. I remember thinking the music, Isshi's voice, had been great and that's when my friend started sending me more from them. For a while I was obsessed with Kagrra, I even went as far as to tell my friend that I didn't need to get into more Visual Kei bands-they were all I needed.

Isshi became my first bias, with Izumi the drummer becoming my second. I read interviews, watched clips of theirs, listened to all the albums my friend could make me at the time. Kagrra, made me feel relaxed, they eased something inside me that no other music could. They showed me that there was more to music than what I had originally thought could be possible.

I recall the TV interview they had done with the GazettE, and while I knew who they were-I remember thinking 'Ha ha, wow that other band is scary, I can't believe my friend likes the vocalist.' (She was a big Ruki stan.)

But my friend eventually ran out of Kagrra, songs to show me, so she put GazettE's more tamer songs on a CD and asked me to listen to it. And after a while I did eventually listen to it, thinking that if Kagrra, was friends with them that they were worth at least a listen. 

And that started a whole chain of events that led me down to where I am now in life. I know a lot of my friends who know me by now know how much I love Kagrra, and how much I miss them. Every opportunity I get to talk to them I do it, and honestly I still can't believe it's been almost eight years since Isshi died.

I always wonder what would have become of the Shiki project he was working on after the disbandment of Kagrra, but I suppose we'll never know it's full potential. Knowing Isshi, it would have been great.

I'm hoping for a possible Kagrra, reunion of some sort in the near future. Of course it'll never be the same without their vocalist, but I hope that the remaining members are healthy and happy no matter what they're doing.