Shoya Ishida+Redemption|A Silent Voice

A couple of nights ago I finally broke down to watch A Silent Voice on Netflix. I've always had the idea of what this anime had been about, but I really wasn't ready for all the emotions I was going to feel.

Given the flashbacks to understand the beginning of the movie and why the character was doing what he was doing, I actually didn't like Shoya. Possibly because I saw every negative trait that Shoya showed, in myself, and this held true until he got into High School. 

If you know the context of the story, Shoya is the one that bullies and harasses Shoko-a deaf girl who just transferred into his elementary school. While the topic of bullying hits close to home for me, considering my own personal experiences with boys like Shoya, it's his path of redemption that makes me wish that this was still true for me. Most of my bullies continued to either bully me or ignore anything they've done well into High School.

So why am I feeling like I relate to Shoya of all people?

After being shunned by his classmates, especially those he considered his best friends, Shoya develops anxiety when dealing with people. He shuts them out by not looking anyone in the eye, hence the x's that are drawn on each character's face, and he refuses to hear the noise that surrounds him. He refuses to listen.

A lot of the time, I feel like I've dealt with this type of problem. 

I went through High School like this, and it's his way of coping with his guilt from his past is something that I feel all too familiar with. 

Out of all the characters in the show, other than Shoko of course, I feel like Shoya is the one who is actively trying to right the wrongs of the past. He tries to make amends, though he doesn't know exactly how to go about it in the beginning. I feel like even if he couldn't properly apologize until the very end of the film, his goal of trying to make Shoko feel loved and to love herself was noble and a brave act.

He could have been like Naoka and push all the blame onto Shoko.

He could have been like Kawai and denied his participation in the bullying.

But the fact that he was actively trying to be better, trying to make it so that they could all at least be friends and civil with each other......well that's brave on his part. Which is why his development was so important, and something to admire even. 

I was going to close this with something smart, but I don't know how else to end this topic. (Note: It's been sitting in my drafts for like two months waiting for me to come up with more to say.)

So I hope you enjoy my thoughts on it anyway.