I recently watched the Docuseries Surviving Mormonism, and honestly while it was quite triggering in some parts-it was a good watch. It really highlighted a lot of things I very well knew, but it was still hard to really watch.
Obviously when a piece of media comes out that criticizes the church, you'll get members who will deflect and make fun of it or 'say it isn't true'. They'll comment 'Well, I've been blessed to be raised/to have joined the church :) God loves you!'. It's very tone deaf and demeaning to comment that especially when somebody is speaking about the real trauma they've endured and the way the Church will sweep it under the rug to keep their reputation in tact.
I grew up a devout Mormon, on my Mother's side we could trace our Ancestry to the early Pioneers (according to my Aunt I think one of my Ancestors was a body guard to Joseph Smith? I never asked to comfirm.) We even had a family in our ward/city that we were distantly related to because we shared the same great-great-great Grandpa, but not the same Grandma. (I could've gone my whole life without knowing that, I hated one of the kids.)
My Mother was born and raised in the LDS faith, she's your typical Caucasian. My Father however, is not, he's Filipino.
The community we grew up in was a mix-up of different characters. Of course within each community you will get that, but the ward I grew up in felt very cliquey. If you didn't fit the narrative of a perfect family, there were those who tended to look down on you. There was a woman in our ward who refused to even speak to my Father, but she spoke to my Mother (and kids) just fine.
Though my Father didn't really care, he's the type to shrug his shoulders if someone dislikes him. (I wish I were like that....unfortunately I am not.)
I was the last child of Seven kids, we were mixed kids and our parents both worked multiple jobs. They weren't high paying jobs, unlike some families who's fathers either owned Car Dealerships or a welding factory. (Those two family lived in Mansions......we even spent Girls camp one year in their back yard.)
We didn't go on vacations. We didn't get the latest toys, we didn't have the fanciest clothes. I wore a lot of my sister's hand me downs. And I didn't quite fit in with the young women who were all....white. (I don't even know if there was another POC in my group of Young Women.) My Father taught Sunday school to the adults, he was very educated of the teachings of the Gospel.
Yet people looked down on us.
My Mother sometimes didn't get invites to relief society scrapbook events. A girl my grade didn't tell me about an Achievement day activity even though the leader asked her to tell me at school. I was told Black couldn't be my favorite color.
When my second oldest brother left the church, another women made a snide comment when she thought none of us were around. "My kids would never leave the church like that."
And I'm not saying that this was the case for all the Ward. If you're going to live by the word of God, there were definitely those who did that in their way of believing. They were kind, sat with me during Girls Camp when the other girls wouldn't sit with me and never once stopped talking to me once I left the Church.
But despite all that, I never really fit in with the ward. My first really good friend in Mutual/Girl's camp was the Granddaughter of one of our neighbors. She didn't attend regular service, but we gravitated towards each other during church activities.
She didn't seem to fit in, because she had a tongue piercing. (And...she was a POC.)
I was just....there. And then, I got a job at 16 and stopped going to Mutual altogether.
To the people commenting how much they love the church, and love their community-great! I'm so glad you get to have a good experience.
Some of us didn't have that.
No comments:
Post a Comment