Why BardXMeyrin might be the best ship in Kuroshitsuji.

When I first immersed myself in the kuroshitsuji fandom fully, I was Nina Hopkins on kurotumblr. [That blog is long since deleted]

I began to delve myself into the fandom, and to be honest I had quite the following on that blog. My huge following probably wouldn't come until I made Bard [Bardalicious] and that's when I began to immerse myself even more. Bard was probably my best roleplay blog, and still is. Probably because of how much I love Bardroy, and how good of a character he is.

But I already wrote a post about that, that's not what I'm here to talk about.

So usually, I found solace in CielXLizzy for a while. Even though, I used it mainly as a coping ship and to be honest-that's not the healthiest ship. [I've come to learn this, so I don't ship them as much as I used to-if at all. Platonically mainly now.]

When I met my official Meyrin, that's when my OTP became the OTP.

Look at them, standing next to each other being badasses. Badass couple ftw.

My first serious roleplay was with a Meyrin, though she's not active now-I still consider her my official Meyrin. [thephantomhivemaid if anyone is wondering!] Our muses interacted in the most sweet way, and I was able to draw on Bard's more gentle side. And I also began to notice different ways that Bard treats Meyrin as opposed to Finny and Snake. [And Sebastian, but again that's another post for another time.]

For almost two years straight we were making alternate universes, even naming their [future] children. Almost all my favorite threads involve MeyrinXBard, and to this day they're still my favorite ship.

And here is why-

• Meyrin is a sweetheart, but she's also tough. She knows how to take charge when Bard is being....well a butt. ["Milk is good for you, so drink it!"-Meyrin looking out for the butt of a chef -and Finny] 
• Sebastian just isn't good for Meyrin-not to mention it would be downright impossible for those two to be together. Or for Sebastian to have any sort of feelings towards her-as he's wanted to murder her before. Bardroy actually treats her decently, though she's not exempt from his rudeness. That's why she has to keep him line. [:
• The two would really have adorable children. Can you imagine babies running amuck with blue eyes and reddish-amaranth hair?
• And yes, I'm going to be one of those annoying shippy girls and say "Well, the author puts them together a lot!" You: BUT THEY'RE ALWAYS TOGETHER???? "THAT'S THE POINT!" 

 Case in point-the Easter chapter.

The best team EVER.

JUST. LOOK. HOW. ADORABLE.

Poor Meyrin. She didn't ask for this.

And then during the Green Witch arc.

HE LEANS AGAINST HER AND LETS HER HAVE THE CHAIR. WHAT A GENTLEMAN.

So in conclusion-do you have to ship Bardrin? No. Should you consider it? Maybe.

That is all. [I'm tired, so I'll revise this later.]

About my life.

I'm pretty sure I'm not unique in growing up listening to music. So this isn't going to be a post about how I'm 'special' because my parents listened to the Beatles, the Eagles, Carlos Santana etc. and I happened to like them.

I also grew up with six older siblings, being the youngest out of seven. Needless to say my music influence is based on what my brothers/sister listen to. Though despite this, I feel like we all have our own personal taste in music and what bands/musicians we like. If you know me, my favorite band is the GazettE and has been for over 9 years now.

My interests for the longest time strayed towards the Japanese spectrum of music, with a side of Lady Gaga and Paramore and Flyleaf. And Linkin Park. [Okay, let's move forward before I start listing all the musicians I listen to.]

I'm going to admit however, when it comes to music-I am very stubborn.

I do love songs I can dance to [Lady Gaga], and I love music I can chill to [Misterwives]. I love discovering new music, however I love doing that on my own terms. If you tell me that I will LOVE a band, most likely I will ward off listening to them for a long time. My brother does this with me, especially when it comes to Japanese music. [Case in point-Maximum the Hormone. I'm sure they are very talented, I'm just a stubborn mule.]

When I get interested in a band, if it turns out well for me-I sit and I listen to their entire discography. I look up lyrics, I download from itunes and all that jazz. If I like them a little, I get the songs I do like and I have a few songs on my Ipod from them. [This bothers my sister, but meh]

When Aoi [from the GazettE] tweeted about this album he absolutely loved, from a band he loved-I thought to myself. "Well if Aoi thinks they're good, maybe I will too!"

And so, I listened to Six Feet Under by coldrain.

This was about 9 months [?] ago. Since then I spent countless days discovering more of their music, and growing to love them as a band.  I haven't really done something like this since Flyleaf, and defintiely not since the GazettE/Kagrra.

Before I get to the concert bit, I want people to realize this about me. Though I don't know for certain, I tend to suffer from social [?] anxiety, and I've dealt with bouts of depression. Most days I feel stuck, hell last Saturday I didn't even leave bed. I don't ever wanna leave bed unless I absolutely have to nowadays.

Listening to the GazettE was my safe-haven. Reading their interviews was my safe-haven, being in the FANDOM used to be my safe-haven. While the fandom has indeed become more toxic than I'd like to admit-it's still my safe-haven to a certain extent. I use this as my escape from having to deal with my actual emotions, and my own problems. Probably not the healthiest thing for me to do, but it's what I got.

So when I discovered Coldrain, I was really surprised to find another band I could use to help me throughout the day. Not only that, Masato's lyrics of keep pushing forward with life and fighting through things helped me a lot.

And when I learned that I had an opportunity to see them live, I jumped on it. I went to the nearest smiths and got the tickets. [lol I had to get one for my brother too, since my dad thinks I'm gonna die at a Lindsey Stirling Concert of all places-so I figured he wouldn't want me to do this alone either.] I was so excited, I even ran in my house to scream at my friend [Reida] about it. [Well, more capslocking her to death]

Last Sunday I finally saw them. It was a small venue, and I was so close I felt like I could touch them. I almost cried! [I also waved at RxYxO and he waved back at me-idk if he really did actually- and I died]

Aside from that, I also discovered even MORE MUSIC. Northlane is awesome and I even met a local band called Divisions!

After Coldrain's set I got a high five from Masato, and even as I type this out now the whole set/experience is imprinted in my mind. I can remember almost everything. I've been to a lot of concerts, and I can tell you that Coldrain is the best band I've seen so far. And I've seen Linkin Park live!

I even got a picture with Masato, and met Katsuma as well! [I didn't get a picture with Katsuma, my social anxiety kicked in and I didn't want to bother him. I even was anxious about bothering Masato..]

Where am I going with this anyways? lol

I'm a very...anxious person, introverted....quiet [unless I really know you]. I don't like to be around crowds, I won't go if I don't have to.

But.....going to concerts? Especially to the bands that you love? Totally worth it.

Coldrain was worth going out of my comfort zone for. I've been having a hard time lately, and this has definitely helped lift my spirits.

So thank you Coldrain.

Thank you Northlane too.

This girl feels like she can take on the world now.

Dear LDS Leaders and other LDS members.

When I was in primary I learned the articles of faith. Though to be honest I could not tell you all of them, but I do remember one saying that we are not responsible for Adam's transgression. So that meant we were not at fault for our parents choices, but our own-we are accountable for our own lives and mistakes.

So why are you taking the parent's lifestyle out on innocent children? I thought being baptized was supposed to be the child's decision, so why are you taking it away from them simply because the parents are gay? Why are they expected to revoke their parents the day they turn 18 to even be eligible to join your Church?

Why do they have to turn away from the people who cared for them and raised them?

You preach and preach that family is the most important thing that we have on this planet, so why are you telling these children they are not welcome in your family because of how their parents are? These children are loved, cared for-and happy. If they want to find faith in your religion their parents are not going to stop them, but you are making it clear that these children are not welcome.

When they turn 18, they will not even think to come to your house. They will not consider the church, because they had ten years to lament over the fact that you turned them away when they were the most vulnerable.

And to the LDS members who are blindly defending this-may I ask you a question. Why are you so blind?

Have faith in what you want, you have the freedom-but why do you support the freedom of those children being taken away? Why do you support families being torn apart? Why do you expect those children to be molded into your perfect ideology, when all these children want from you is to be accepted?

When I was 8 I was told I needed to be baptized, and I had the freedom to do so. I only did it because it was expected of me, but I was still able to.

Why do you expect people to respect your faith and your beliefs, when your Church Leaders are turning away the most innocent of beings because their parents happen to be gay? Why do you expect people to come to your faith when all they do is tear others down for being who they are, hiding behind a facade of 'support' and 'love'.

This is not love.

This is bigotry at it's finest.

So Church Leaders, why are you turning the innocent away from being closer to God? While I may not believe in the faith myself, I wish for everyone to have the freedom to believe in what they want.

You're turning people away, and it's your own fault.

"When will you have children?" Never. Stop asking.

This is something most girls are asked, and definitely something that was rooted in my brain since the day I joined Young Womens.

Personally, I've never wanted children. While I don't hate children, I just don't see myself ever being a mother and I definitely do not have the time for it. I'm tired a lot, and with the career I want to go into I would require time to focus on myself rather than worry whether or not Sally had a nap. [I know, that sounded cruel-but it's the truth]

I've been watching my nephew since he was an infant. And I can tell you one thing, children are selfish. Of course they're still learning, but every time Harley throws a tantrum because he didn't get something-I age. Well, I'm aging either way-but that's how it feels like. When I get off a seven hour shift, after having worked since the early mornings-I just can't deal with his tantrums and his pouting.

I'm stressed out because I got yelled at by Miss Johnson because her soda pop didn't ring up at the right price. Or my boss thought I wasn't doing the job I was supposed to be doing even though my other supervisor told me to do it.

I get turned off by the thought of children as well.

I met this guy at work, who worked for Coke [and he was in the military]. For whatever reason we started to talk, and exchange numbers. He was a pretty nice guy, don't get me wrong-and I didn't even care that he had a kid. But when he asked me out on a date-the first thing he told me was that he wanted another child and suggested that we could make cute children.

I never wanted to talk to him again. [I also found out he had another child, so...] That whole entire date was awkward after that, he even did that stupid pretend to yawn and put his arm around my shoulder thing. The only reason I let him was because he was my ride home from the movie, I didn't want to have to call my dad to come get me.

It appears also that whenever I went on one date, or seemed like a date-my mom announced it to everyone. The Relief Society, the people in her ward, her work-my cousins. It didn't matter who or where we were-she had to say "Well Ashley got a date this friday night! The boy is in the military!"

"Oh when will you get married and have kids?"

What?

What?!

I went on one date, even after that I still stopped talking to him and I went back to dating my ex girlfriend. At least if I was dating her there were no expectations of babies coming out of my vag. [Then she said that if we had kids, I was gonna be the one who was getting pregnant. Fuck that shit.]

Two years later and I meet my current boyfriend. [I met him at a bar at an anime convention-how nerdy can one get?] And I will state that I'm usually not that outgoing, the only words I intended to say to him was "can I sit here?" cause we were sitting in a fire pit. He said yes and then I continued to babble to him about stupid shit.

[I don't even remember what I talked about, all I remember is that I was like "Lets go to the rave" and we proceeded to just stand there and go back to the bar. Hm. Then he ditched me for rum. Which he will deny, but he did.]

When we started dating officially, once again my mom went to her friends and I got bombarded with questions of the same sort. I choose to simply stay silent in these situations, as my parent's friends tend to think that two months of a relationship automatically means we're ready for marriage. It's just something that's expected of girls around my area, but something I never really thought of.

If a girl brings up the fact that she doesn't want children, do not tell her that she is going to change her mind. 


I have lost count of how many people have told me this, especially from my own family. Hearing it from them is annoying enough, I do not need to hear it from you. My brother's friend [who is annoying btw] got into an argument with me about this.

Him: So when are you and your bf gonna get married and have kids?
Me: I don't want kids.
Him: What about him?
Me: ...He doesn't want kids either.
Him: You're gonna change your mind.
Me: Nope.
Him: Yes!
Me: Nope.

Excuse me? Are you suddenly an expert on what I want with my life?

So before you ask this question to a girl, if she tells you no-take it how it is.

No, means no.
 

Let's talk about Aoi!

If you know me at all, you'll all know that I'm a super fan of Aoi.

When I first saw him back in my Sophomore year of High School, I was awestruck. I thought to myself, 'who is this beautiful creature and what can I do to learn more about him?'. I never thought I would continue on with this, as back in the day I had phases where I would fangirl over a guy [like Billy Joe Armstrong, AND the singer for Simple Plan, etc] and it would just simply be dropped a couple of months later.

Not Aoi.

This obsession, if that's what you want to call it-spans on for almost a decade. Yes, I just admitted it to everyone. I have been a fangirl of the GazettE for that long, and my bias as always been Aoi for just as long.

When I got into J-rock bands the thing I loved most was to look up interviews, and I did a lot of that with Kagrra,. So it's no surprise that I would do the same once I got into the GazettE, but I found myself caring more what Aoi said than what the others had the say. I'm going to even admit that I skipped what Reita and the others had to say in favor of what Aoi said-no matter how grumpy he was.

And he's pretty grumpy! I mean the guy flat out says 'this is stupid' a lot in interviews. Wouldn't want to be the one interviewing him at that point. But then again, he is me. Yes, I love Aoi so much because I relate to him a lot.

The thing that attracted me at first was how Aoi played the guitar. He is a wonderful guitar player, especially when it comes to solos. Case in point: Sugar Pain|Nausea&Shudder|Cassis|Without a Trace and so on. Also, he is a GREAT composers. As far as my knowledge goes, he did compose Sugar Pain and he composed Burial Applicant.

If you don't know me, you must know-I am a sucker for acoustic guitar and any sort of guitar. I mean, I grew up on Carlos Santana AND Michelle Branch for hell's sake.  Aoi does this very well, and it saddens me at times when I read interviews where he talks about how he doesn't have that skill. He doesn't seem to have any confidence in himself, though you wouldn't know by watching him onstage.

Look at him, this just SCREAMS confidence right?

Don't get me wrong-I like Uruha and he's a talented guitar player! But he overshadows Aoi a lot, and it's sort of upsetting for me when fans say that it's the other way around. Because it really isn't! I hear about how Uruha is a wonderful guitarist [AND HE IS] but let's give credit to the rhythm guitarist as well! If anything, Aoi deserves to have as many solos as Uruha does! I mean, we all heard Nausea&Shudder right, RIGHT?!

Aoi and Uruha, well despite all this-they play well together. You don't find a lot of bands where both the lead and rhythm have solos-and I'm glad that they implement each other's strong suits. And I'm sure they argue a bit-I mean they're in a band, it'd be frightening if they didn't argue. But I'm so happy that Aoi never left like he intended to.

Aoi didn't leave because of the fans. And possibly because Ruki and Uruha sat him down, but I believe most of it was due to the fans.

If Aoi left the GazettE, I couldn't handle it.

Let me get to the last point of this post and that's who Aoi is as a person. We all know from his twitter that he's quite the sensitive guy, and he has a lot of opinions that we all don't agree with from time to time. That is just who he is as a person, and this may just me being extremely bias-but I accept him for it.

There is not a single person in that band/crew that is perfect.

Though one thing for sure, if you're a friend of Aoi's-you're going to get treated well. Aoi cares about his friends, does things for them. He's the big brother who wants to take care of everyone and I LOVE HIM FOR IT.

THIS IS WHY I LOVE AOI.

I will scream to the heavens about this until I can no longer scream.

Whether you believe it or not-Lady Gaga HAS talent.

Now if you don't believe it-I kindly lead you to these songs.

Speechless.

Dance in the Dark

Also let's not forget about her tribute to Julie Andrews in her rendition of the Sound of Music. 

I get it, we all have different music tastes-but one things for certain. Lady Gaga has a set of lungs for her, and she can sing. I understand why people might not like her, but she knows how to get attention-and it's attention that she so deserves. I have never seen a musician like her, that loves what she does and loves her fans so much.

Lady Gaga writes all of her songs, she even wrote some songs for Britney Spears and the Pussycat Dolls. [Kesha is also a song-writer, who wrote songs for multiple people-but that's a post for another time!]

So every song on every one of her albums, is her own creation. 

Compliments to the Chef.

If you don't know it already, I love Bardroy.

Look at this cutie patootie.

Four years ago I joined Kurotumblr as Bardroy and ever since then I've grown to love my muse. It made me laugh a little considering at the time he wasn't even my favorite character, I was just addicted to making different rp blogs and no one at the time was roleplaying as him. So I had thought to myself I would give it a shot, and here I am still playing him and even developing some of his personality.

[I'm kidding....or am I?]

There's one thing I need from the manga, and that's Bard's past. Because there's a deep underlining in the chef that we get to see a glimpse of from time to time-but there's so much more to him. And it usually makes me so angry when everyone reduces him to a joke and he's anything but a joke.

Bardroy is a soldier. I play him as such, and of course I will play him the way he acts in the series as well.

Bard waiting for Diedrich's orders

In the latest chapters [+the Circus arc AND the Murder arc] one will get a glance into the reason Sebastian hired Bardroy. If you didn't catch it, Sebastian stated to Joker when the other called his servants 'amateurs'-that he hand picked the lot himself.

An army hand-selected by a demon.

Please keep in mind that this is one of the only instances where Sebastian praises his staff much less call them capable. While Ciel had a hand in Finny and possibly Meyrin's employment, there's indication that Sebastian was the one who sought Bardroy out himself. I had answered this before, but I will repeat when I say that the butler and the chef seem to have some special connection [and annoyance] to each other because of that reason.

Now I can go on and on about Sebastian's relationship with each servant, but I will save that for a later post.

Let's get back to Bardroy.

We all know Bard's personality by now. He's blunt, he's rude-and he just doesn't know when to shut up. But that's just the outer-persona that we see. If anyone were to look into Bard's personality, you will take notice that he's a little bit more gentle when dealing with certain people. Namely his young master [even though he says 'His horrible personality is showing' but it's bard, who would he be if he didn't throw quips at anyone?]

cutie

If Bard is to be described as one thing-it's grateful. When Ciel hands him some candy cigarettes [and proceeds to tell him to stop smoking so much], he bashfully thanks him. And as a Bard roleplayer, I've noticed tons of Bard's more gentle expressions. When he explains to Ciel that he hasn't been in Sebastian's room much-he almost looks outright apologetic.

And I don't think fans realize just how much Bardroy cares for the other servants and the young master. My favorite of course being his relationship with Meyrin, as he appears to treat her more kindly than anyone else in the manor. Yes, she's not exempt from his rudeness-but there's just a certain way he treats her that makes me think he might be in love with her. [Oh no, that's just my shippy side.]

He lost his friends before however, so I feel like that's what's pushing him most when he fights for the manor. He may not like war and battles, but he will still defend his territory and his family when he's needed. And he'll be outright cruel about it at times.

This is why Bard is an important character, this is why I am absolutely thirsty for more backstory on where he came from and who he was before he became the Phantomhive Chef.

Bard is truly a wonderful character and I'm glad I took the plunge when I decided to roleplay as him.

I see hate Elizabeth Midford's way-and once again I am here to defend her.

Also, I am quite aware that she is a fictional character and yes I am aware that even if she was real she could very well defend herself.

So my thoughts are resting on the pressing issue of Chapter 107 [which I haven't gotten to read yet, because it's still being translated!] and Lizzy's reaction to finding her fiance in a compromising position with another female. And on top of that, all the hate she is now getting again from people who just don't understand character flaws and development.

I was going to play Animal Crossing, but alas.  *cracks knuckles*

When I first saw the raw, I knew Lizzy haters would worm their way out of the woodwork and I already argued with one gal of that kind. While she claims to not be a 'hater', that she adores Lizzy-I simply reminded her of a time when Ciel was about to strike his fiance over a ring. Yes, I understand that ring that Ciel bares is precious to him and he was upset.

But that does not excuse him striking out at Lizzy in the first place.

And does Lizzy have any excuse for lashing out at Ciel? Yes and no. Someone mentioned that yes the ring is important to Ciel-but Ciel is important to Lizzy. Should she have reacted the way she had? No. She shouldn't have. That was a mistake that Lizzy as a human being with passionate emotions made.

Back in the good ole Victorian Days it was acceptable to marry your cousin for the sake of keeping the family line 'pure'. That was what I think the intent of Ciel and Lizzy's engagement to begin with. However, it would be humiliating on both parts should one side compromise that relationship and could potentially ruin the other's reputation.

So when Lizzy sees Ciel over Sullivan, she obviously doesn't know the situation and she's obviously upset. There already is alot that Ciel hides from Lizzy and I feel like she knows that. She knows Ciel hides things from her, and as the story progresses the more frustrated she gets. Obviously Sebastian stops her, and at the end of the chapter she is smiling at Sullivan and the two seem to get along just fine.

She gets over it. She realizes her mistake.

Now let me get onto the topic of Elizabeth's entire character and her relationship with Ciel.

It's obvious the two care about each other, whether it be familial or just love-it's up to interpretation right now.

I don't think a lot of fans realize just how much Elizabeth sacrifices for Ciel to make him happy, and to get really nothing in return. There will be fans who will say that Lizzy doesn't deserve Ciel, but really-it's the other way around. She sacrifices growing up just so Ciel will feel like he's an adult, she puts on this facade so he won't feel weak next to her. [and so he won't be scared of her-like he seems to be Frances]

Was her kick a mistake and lapse in judgement on Lizzy's part? Yes. She is acting on her emotions rather than her head-but she is probably under so much stress and the thought of losing Ciel in any form scares her.

She's already lost him once. 

Lizzy was literally trained from her childhood to be Ciel's protector. This is something a normal child probably shouldn't have to go through, but her mother understands the life that Ciel will lead and thus she must train Lizzy to be good at what she does. Do you think Frances wanted this for her daughter? Probably not, she'd probably be fine with Lizzy being safe and not having to fight. But she trusts her daughter to protect Ciel, and for Ciel to protect her.

She puts off becoming a 'teenager' or more adult just so Ciel will feel more adult. She's putting on this act for Ciel and he doesn't appreciate it. She's also tearing herself up inside because she doesn't know what happened to Ciel or why he's shut off for so long [she may get a hint-but never the full truth] and to me I feel like that's heartbreaking.

She loves Ciel. And why I emphasize love, is because her love is so pure and so innocent that it scares me actually. Her life from the beginning centered around Ciel, and when Ciel finally passes I am afraid that she will fall into a darkness that she won't be able to get out of.

I also mentioned before that Lizzy sort of represents light in Ciel's life.

[Just showing those above just to prove a point]

Anyways, CielXLizzy is one of my OTP's, but it's also my tragic OTP. Because there's just so much that they don't communicate to each other out of fear. [Ciel, mainly out of trying to protect Lizzy I think]

Is Lizzy perfect? No! She's human, who's whole life was and is centered around one boy. I feel like she needs to find her own identity-one that doesn't fall back onto Ciel.

Is Ciel perfect? Of course not!

I really just hate seeing Lizzy being demonized over one lapse of judgement in her character. It's called character development people!

Lizzy really is a precious cinnamon roll too precious for this fandom.

 

Here's to the minor characters. [Part 1]

I'm sure in every fandom there are the 'favorites' and by that, I mean just the main characters of the show. In example? Eren Jaeger from Attack on Titan, who on a flip of a dime his diehard fans will charge at the chance to defend every flaw and every misdoing of this character.

While I'm one to say that anyone is free to like who they like, I would love to touch on the much less 'loved' or respected characters [and ships] of each fandom that I belong to. I will probably divide it into sections, which means that this will make for a very long post. So if you want to bare with me, feel free to.

Let's start off with my current muse's fandom. Black Butler. [Or Kuroshitsuji, if you really want to be that technical.]

It's a no brainer that Sebastian Michaelis is possibly one of the most popular anime/manga characters in the show [and of all time]. I mean, yeah I get it-the guy is devilishly handsome and he can do just about everything! And following in popularity, we get the midget that is Ciel Phantomhive [yes, I just went there] and his angst piled upon angst makes him an interesting character indeed!

So while we are on the subject of the two, let's talk about the most popular [and disturbing] pairing of the series-SebaCiel.

While yes I do have friends that ship it, I don't particularly find myself fond of it for many reasons. The main reason being that it is shota, and that it's highly disturbing considering that Sebastian is an adult [and REALLY OLD] and that Ciel is a child. No matter how mature Ciel is mentally, he is STILL physically a child and should not be put in sexual situations. [that goes for Alois too]

So do I like looking in the Black Butler tag in tumblr? No, and sadly I avoid it.

While I got that out of the way, let's talk about the super under-appreciated characters in this show.

Meyrin

Meyrin is my favorite character in the entire show, from the beginning as a matter of fact! Which you may find odd because when introduced she seems like she's nothing but a bumbling maid who simply cannot do anything right!

She's always so cheerful too! She deeply loves her young master and Sebastian [whom she loves a little too much] plus her friends. That's why I love her! From the moment I saw her, I just wanted to hug her!

And then come to find out the real reason she's at the manor? [Spoiler alert: She's a kickass sniper maid who don't take anyone's shit!]

Now Meyrin is what you might call-my shipping 'whore'. I simply ship her with almost everyone [except Ciel or anyone his age]. Whether it be Bardroy, Nina Hopkins or Ronald Knox. Speaking of Ronald, that asshole owes this maid some tea!

Now Meyrin's past is still iffy, which makes her a more interesting character in the sense that you sort of wonder where she came from and how she found the Phantomhive manor. In a flashback during the Murder Arc, you'll see that she's being held down by Sebastian infront of Ciel. So had she come with the intent to kill Ciel? And what had changed her mind initially?

A possible fear of death by the hands of a 10 year old noble or did she really want a chance at redeeming herself somehow?

Flashback to Meyrin's 'first' encounter with Ciel Phantomhive.

Now in the anime she is approached while on the job, and she's approached by Sebastian [but not as threatening as the above picture]. I usually go by Manga, as it's true to Yana's original ideas and what I see as 'canon' rather than what the anime team put up.

Will we finally see Meyrin's past? Hopefully, as they had already touched on most of Finnian's past and his arrival at the manor. So hopefully this IS a sign that Yana will touch on Meyrin [and Bard's] pasts respectively. And I wonder how she would feel if she found out about her true role in the grand scheme of things?

I don't find that she would take too kindly to being duped, to finding out that she is just a pawn. Or perhaps she will never find out-I simply cannot wait to see her fate! [as long as it doesn't involve death]

Now, let's move onto the loveable chef that is BARDROY.

Bardroy

Now to start things off, Bardroy [or is it Baldroy? I don't know.] is fucking HILARIOUS. I love the little temper tantrums he throws whenever something doesn't go his way, and I secretly think that Sebastian loves it too.

Now how did this 40 something odd year old American come to work for a 12 year old noble? Well, I don't have an answer for that-that is simply something I NEED to find out.

Bardroy is pushed aside as comic relief because of all his antics [and the others too], but there's something deeper resting in this ex-soldiers head and that's why I roleplay as him. To get inside his head a little, to see what truly makes Bardroy tic and why he feels obligated to serve someone like Ciel the way he does.

Like Meyrin, not much is known about his past other than the fact that 1)He's American and 2) He was found amongst the bodies of a battle that was lost. He was said to either be a sergeant or a lieutenant, which makes him very useful in the cases where Sebastian is not there to lead them during a raid.

Sebastian finds Bardroy.

 It isn't known if Sebastian found Bardroy on his own, or if Ciel had any say in the hiring of the chef. Though Ciel does mention that each of the Phantomhive Servants were hand selected by Sebastian himself, based off each skill they possessed in battle. Bardroy's was his intuition, knowing when things will go awry and the butler saw potential in those traits.

Bardroy and Sebastian's relationship is possibly my favorite [next to Bard and Meyrin]. They hate each other apparently, but Bard is simply a brat and won't admit he actually cares about Sebastian.

But he does care about his young master, as seen in scenes during the Murder Arc [stopping Ciel from hitting Sebastian's 'dead' body] and during the recent arc [when he thought his young master was going to die and he couldn't do anything about it.] He also has the upmost trust in Sebastian, which is again shown in the Witch Arc.

 So I could go on about Bardroy, so let's just ease onto the next character.

Elizabeth Midford [Lizzy]

To me I feel like Elizabeth Midford is sort of a metaphor for the 'light' in Ciel's life that he has yet to 'let' go of. In a special AU chapter, she is literally named 'Daughter of the Sun'.

She is too precious for this fandom and she doesn't deserve the hate that she receives almost on a daily basis. She is the other half of one of my top otp's too! [It's Cielizzy of course]

Lizzy is possibly the strongest female character on the show and I am NOT afraid to say that. And how can you not see that? [Yeah I know, arrogant of me to stay that oh well.] She has to deal with a lot at just the age of 14. Though she is older than Ciel by a year, she sacrifices her own happiness to try and accommodate Ciel.

She kept her fencing a secret just so Ciel wouldn't be afraid of her, and so that he could protect her like she felt he wanted. But she'd be damned if she let anything happen to her-not while she's around!

Friendly reminder that she can kick your ass.

Now I'm a hipster in saying that 'I liked Lizzy before I found out she could fence.' There was just so much potential in her character, and even if you took away her fencing she'd still be a pretty cool character by herself.

She's also the most tragic, and I feel so sorry for her at times and how strong she has to act. She made up the story of Ciel finding her easter egg every Easter, and was hurt when Ciel seemed to play along with it. She doesn't pry what happened to him out of him forcefully, but yes there is a part of her that wants to know because she wants to know why he's shut off from her.

Like Bard, I will simply just stop there. Because I will talk for hours about her.

So that's it for Black butler [You: Boooo you only touched on two servants and Lizzy], while there are other characters to discuss-Black Butler would just take over my post and I have to move on sadly.

Let's move on to________

Attack on Titan 

Now I mentioned Eren Jaeger being the super popular character in the show, and that is true. But there are so many of those in AoT [Levi, Erwin and even Jean] so no-none of those characters will be discussed. [Even though I FUCKING LOVE JEAN]

 Sasha Braus

Taking on a titan with just a bow.

First things first, I really hate that Sasha is reduced to one thing that happened in one episode. Yes, I get it-she likes food! But she also comes from a village that has little to no food and she went hungry a LOT.

Also, can everyone agree that Sasha is a bad ass? Not to mention she's also really sweet??? People say she's rude and a bad role model, but I really don't see it???

She fucking saves Samuel from falling to his death [a fan mentioned it was a dumb way and ruined his leg-but REALLY? would you rather her let him FALL???] And aside from another underappreciated character Connie-she literally takes on a titan with just a bow and arrow and NO gear whatsover. Sadly the fandom is happy to overlook that and just see her as a coward and a food-crazed maniac.

She also has a good relationship with just about everyone in her squad [except maybe Levi]. She's best bros with Connie, pretty close to Historia and Mikasa is seen asking her if she's okay. [Or why she's not eating-and SHE HUGS MIKASA] Even her and Jean get along a lot of the time, though they're assholes to each other at times.

She's just bros with everyone. That's what I love about her, she really is a precious cinnamon roll and is too precious for this fandom.

Connie Springer

Connie is also like Sasha, in a sense that he's pushed aside as comic relief and never taken seriously by 80 % of the fandom.

The guy just found out his mom's a 'titan' and I don't know how messed up his psyche can get with that set of information. Not to mention the rest of his family.

Connie joined the military solely to make his family proud, and though he could have joined the Military Police-he chose the Survey Corps because of what happened to them as cadets. It was a difficult choice and I don't think fans give him as much credit for it as they should.

Like Sasha, he seems to genuinely care about his comrades. And that's a trait most of them have, but it's still a good trait to have nonetheless. And yes, he is funny as hell-but he needs to be taken seriously and he's super under appreciated.


--

That's it for this part! I would continue, but I'm starting to get sloppy so this is it for part 1. Part 2 might come tomorrow or Saturday.

The Teacher and the student-Hakkai and Goku.

Now if you're someone that's known of me for a while you'll know that I love manga [and anime]. And if you've known me for a REALLY long time you'll know that my favorite manga is Saiyuki-always and forever.

Saiyuki has always been unique in many ways, Kazuya Minekura has a way of making you feel attached to certain characters while on another note she makes you hate/loathe a character to the point where you wish death upon them. Now Saiyuki isn't really for the faint of heart, and I'm not even sure if I phrased that correctly.

There's always a certain depth to each character, even the ones you'd expect to just be background characters. And that goes for the Kougaiji group, but I will save that for another time.

I'm here to talk about Cho Hakkai [formally known as Cho Gonou] and Son Goku.

Cho Hakkai [with Hakuryuu]

 Now Cho Hakkai is my favorite manga/anime character of all series that I like. I'm not quite sure what it is about this demon slayer, but he really pulled me in as a character in general. His role in the group seems fairly simple, drive the rest of them to India [with his magical dragon who can shape shift into a jeep]  and basically play the role as 'mother'.

Though they say they're on the journey for their own reasons, Hakkai seems to genuinely care about his companions [while not being afraid to confront them if need be]. While it's known that he's close to Gojyo [and Sanzo], I wanted to sort of touch on his relationship with Goku.

Son Goku [no not from DBZ]

Son Goku is sort of the 'cheerleader' of the group, if they took Goku away from the group I sort of feel that there would be a darker aura surrounding them. Though he seems younger than the rest, he actually is older than everyone by 500 years. [But that's because he was locked up in a cave for so long, but his maturity is that of a teenager]

And because of his maturity, Goku continues to learn things about himself or others as he goes along his journey. As I continue to read the manga, I take notice of his change and how he matures slightly throughout each chapter-and I feel a big part of that is because Hakkai is there to guide him along the way. While Sanzo teachers Goku important details about surviving, I feel like Hakkai is also an important role in that as well.


To me it's almost like they're both his parents.

Goku holds a lot of trust in Hakkai, to the point where he makes the decision in the desert he entrusts him to get his diadem back on. I don't know if it's just me, but there has to be a lot of trust that would have to go into that. Since to this point Sanzo has always been the one [or the Goddess of Mercy] to be able to do this-it takes a lot for Goku to even trust that Hakkai would be able to complete such a task.

And Hakkai fails at doing the task at hand, which led the healer to feel remorse for not being able to help him. [But Hakkai in general is just a guilty guy I think, poor thing]

What I love about Hakkai though, is that he doesn't see a 'monster' when he sees Seiten Taisei. He just sees Goku, even though the other may not recognize him in that state-Hakkai knows that deep down that their Goku is still in there and he'd be damned if they gave up in retrieving him.

So when they have to make the decision to take the diadem off, Hakkai is determined to make sure he gets it right this time. He even risks his own sanity to accomplish this-even though Sanzo warned him that if he lost it he wouldn't come back like Goku. And he did almost lose it-if it weren't for Gojyo's involvement Hakkai would either be dead or mentally he just would not be there.

Hakkai faces off with Goku in his youkai form.

Hakkai and Goku sort of have this relationship where they sort of learn from each other, like they do the others. That's why I always want to consider their relationship as opposed to Goku's with Sanzo and Hakka's with Gojyo's.

In terms of strength, I believe Seiten Taisei could have killed Hakkai even in his youkai form. And Hakkai probably knew this-and yet he still found a way to get Goku's diadem back on without the help of Sanzo. [who in his own right was dealing with his own mental problems, but yeah.]

I hope in future chapters their relationship is explored-because Hakkai and Goku are alike in some ways considering their pasts. Though Goku doesn't remember, he did slaughter people in a blind rage though his attack seemed more chaotic [and not well thought out like Gonou]. The only difference is that Hakkai can at least gain control over his youkai side, but I think it's a common theory that Seiten Taisei just holds too much anger from wrong doings to even be able to be controlled.

As a whole, Seiten Taisei is an enigma, but that is a subject I will also save for another time. I can't simply wonder if Minekura will finally touch on his roots, and who he was before he was taken into Heaven.

Goku and Hakkai's relationship to me is one of the best, because they feed so well off of each other. And I think Goku cares about Hakkai's wellbeing, and vice versa. I sort of love how they look out for each other, in their own way. I may be odd, but it really is my favorite relationship out of the rest of the group-even if you wouldn't expect it.

This is a sloppy essay or whatever you want to call it, so I might fix it when I'm not as tired.

If you've read-thanks for reading!

They're dorks, but they're MY dorks.

My Top five favorite Disney Films.

Though I don't find myself watching too many Disney films, I do have my favorites. And here they are! [though they are not really in any particular order!]


1. Tarzan

I saw Tarzan in theaters, and since then I've probably seen it a thousand times. I'm also one of the rare people who absolutely adore Jane-I found her quirky and interesting! Tarzan possibly is one of the best movies Disney has put out, and also it has one of the best Soundtracks. The fight at the end between Tarzan and Clayton? It's really intense!

2. Treasure Planet

I already posted why I love Treasure Planet here.

3. The Little Mermaid [1 AND 2]

The Little Mermaid was one of those rare movies [at least for me] that I loved both the original and the sequel. Even though the second movie is basically the first one switched around, I still love it! And you really can't compare any animation to that of this movie-I don't know why I just simply loved this movie to death. Also it's one of those movies where the prince is a little bit more useful than the others!

4. Maleficent

Of all the Live Action Disney Princess movies, I loved Maleficent the best so far. Angelina Jolie was perfect for the role, and I really love the idea of Maleficent being essentially Aurora's godmother. I was super excited for this movie to come out, and was definitely not disappointed when I finally got to see it!

5. Brave

"Oh this is just Brother Bear, but with girls!" Hush! Brave is an excellent movie, showing a great relationship between a daughter and her mother. Not too many movies pry into this subject, and I'm certainly glad that this movie did! I've probably watched this movie a lot of times, a lot more than the average person even. The animation was beautiful, and Merida was a wonderful princess for young girls to look up to. This is probably the only pixar movie that'll be on this list, as it's my favorite pixar movie of all time! [The soundtrack is AMAZING]



-
That's it for my list of disney movies, though I enjoy quite a few more these are just the ones I probably find myself watching over and over again.

And am I the only one who's excited for Moana to come out?

Here's to one of the most underrated Disney Films-Treasure Planet.

I'm not a big Disney fanatic like most people claim to be, but I have my fair share of favorite movies whether they be classics like 'The Little Mermaid' or a recent one such as 'Brave'. But one sticks out a little farther than the rest, and in my honest opinion it's one of the most underrated Disney Movies to be produced.

Treasure Planet was obviously a new take on the beloved classic 'Treasure Island', and while I haven't read the classic myself-I found myself enjoying the newer counterpart very well.

I remember when Treasure Planet first came out. I was only 11 when it came out, and it was around the time my mom would take us out to go see movies of any choice. My sister and I were disputing however, as she wanted to see one of the Santa Clause movies [with Tim Allen] and I wanted to go see Treasure Planet. It ended up that we went out to see My Big Fat Greek Wedding, and I only remember feeling disappointed about it.

However sometimes my mom would surprise us with a trip to the movies, well namely she surprised me. She said we were going out somewhere, and that somewhere happened to be the movie theater-to see Treasure Planet! I simply remember just feeling excited about it [and maybe slightly guilty-since I don't know if my mom did the same for my sister.]

From beginning to end, the movie to me seemed magical and it made me want to live in a world where I could meet Jim Hawkins and bug the crap out of Dr. Delbert Doppler. After seeing the movie I spent my free time outside pretending I was boarded 'RLS Legacy', and we were headed off to find Treasure Planet.

Though watching this as an adult, I am more inclined to take notice of the importance of the relationship between Jim Hawkins and John Silver [the cyborg!]. Jim's father left when he was a young age [as seen in the music entourage-accompanied by the song I'm Still Here] and it's obvious he needed someone to guide him. [Typical deliquent-no father trope.]

Early on in the movie you sort of already know that John Silver is meant to be a bad guy, he certainly looks the part. They don't necessarily get along at first, but as the movie progresses the two form a bond that seems to stick even when things turn sour. In a way John helps Jim, and vice versa. Though at first neither want to admit it, the two care about each other which is why in the end they patch things up.

I will not cry, I will NOT CRY.

My favorite scene [though it's the saddest scene] is when John leaves in the end, but he throws up enough loot for his mother to rebuild her inn. He also asks his loyal sidekick Morph to stay with Jim, to keep an eye on him. I like to think it promises a reunion between the two in the future [and maybe even a sequel??? I'm not holding my breath though].

The imagery of the movie is as I said before, it's just magical. There's just something inside of me that wants to jump into the screen and be a part of it all. The setting was perfect, the characters were flawed-but relatable.

Yet I don't really hear too many people talking about it, and while people can have their opinions-I find it sad that Treasure Planet doesn't seem to be appreciated like other movies. I have my favorite Disney Movies, but Treasure Planet will definitely always be on top. All the characters are likeable too! [especially Morph, the cutie!]

Not to mention they have this badass of a character! [Captain Amelia]

B.E.N is just too  much really!

One last thing I'll say about Treasure Planet, is that it has a great soundtrack. Jim's Theme [I'm still Here] sung by John Rzenik is a perfect theme song for the protagonist. I find myself watching the movie again and again, and I'll probably continue to do so!

I simply wish that people would appreciate it as much as I do. Maybe I'm just a little weird!

BONUS: Captain Flint is a badass space pirate!

Why Faith Connors of Mirror's Edge is my kind of protagonist and why she's important.

While I still have yet to finish the Mirror's Edge game, I still like to read up on the story [and give myself spoilers-yes I am a loser.] and I have yet to find another female protagonist quite like her. In a world of games where girls are unnecessarily sexualized [even for combat gear], it really is a breath of fresh air to see a fighter/runner like Faith to be dressed so properly for what she's doing.

I'm not going to really give a rundown of the game, simply lead you to their wiki page.

Now if you have had the pleasure [like I have] to play Mirror's Edge, you will probably see where I am coming from most likely. Video Games in a sense haven't always been catered to Women, as seen by the unnecessary combat wear that many girls are seen to be wearing in games like Mortal Kombat or Soul Calibur [in example: Ivy Valentine]

Now Ivy is a badass female character by herself, but her combat wear isn't exactly logical and very well it leaves a lot of open spots for her to be killed. The costume itself is very sexy [yes I admit it], but no-not very logical. [But yes, I know Video games aren't meant to be logical.]

When I went to Salt Lake Comic Con with my boyfriend we went into a panel, something to do with the Geekshow Podcast. [Did I get it right? I'm not too familiar with them, despite having seen them quite a few times while being with my boyfriend-the sole reason I go to their podcast/panels.] Anyways, there was something that was brought up and I was really interested in what they had to say [despite half of them being men] and that was the sexualization of women in Video games and Comic Books. [and how unethical their costumes were]

Kerry's response? "It's just fiction, it doesn't matter-women are just getting upset about it." Sadly, the two women that were there agreed with him. [Kerry isn't my favorite person, and I don't care for the Geekshow podcast for their tendency to laugh at rape jokes] And that's how most men tend to think when women speak up about this.

Faith Connors is simply a jewel amongst the video game world, and I'm happy to say that my boyfriend also likes Mirror's Edge. Not because he thinks the protagonist is 'hot', which tbh she really is! But because it's a fun game and that's what we concentrate on as we run above a turbulent city and fight baddies!

In a video game world where men are properly armored, while many women are just there to look 'hot'-I think Faith Connors is just a prime example of how creators can create women in their world without necessarily making them wear skimpy outfits. On another note, these people create these characters and yet criticize any Women daring to cosplay as them!

I'm not saying that other female characters are horrible simply because they're in skimpy outfits-hey it's not their fault! And I'm a big fan of Mileena [Mortal Kombat], and speaking of Mortal Kombat I am happy that they're giving the girls more realistic bodies! [though the costumes can still improve, if just a little]

Guys will complain that this is 'their' world, but it really isn't just their world anymore. I don't think it was truly their own anyways!

That's all I have to say on this manner. On another note, I really would LOVE to cosplay as Faith, but I don't think I could ever replicate her markings. 

Let the truth be known-I am not a liar!

I admit there are times when I do love my job, which I sort of have to because it's my everyday life and I sort of have to make the most out of it.

So I work at a grocery store, right? And our store is a little special since we do phone in orders, where we take the customers order via phone then we deliver it to them. Only two stores in our side of town does this, and even with a 20 dollar fee stacked on it-it's still a nice feat. I have a lot of regulars who call in too, and a lot of times I can decipher who it is calling just by the day of the week or the month. [depending on how often they call in!]

However if I take the time to write down the order, get your information down, grab the stuff and then you turn around and cancel on me [again] chances are you're not going to be my most favorite customer. [Yes, I admit it, I have favorite customers!] Since we're under new management, I'm still iffy about how to go about this lady [Barbs, that's what I'll call her.]

My old boss was there when it happened, and if he had a say in it he would have told me to not shop for her anymore. But the new boss? Well, I think he's still on the fence and since the incident [which was last Wednesday] I'm still not sure what his stance is. So I don't want to say anything unless he gives me the okay to do it.

However, I do speak to the customer service lady to let her know what Barbs did. [who has since called back twice trying to get an order done, on the fourth of july and we had no people so she still hasn't gotten her groceries].

She called today and the lady told her that we were still a little iffy about doing her order, since she cancelled her order/items twice already. And she just snipped back that she was just going to go to another store. I didn't really say much, and I couldn't get a hold of the manager [he's a busy guy] so I decided to just not call her back.

She called back [again] and told us that she spent 500 dollars at the other store and that she was never coming back. Also she said that I was lying that she cancelled her order. I had to sit there thinking because I know she doesn't spend that much at our store, so how can she turn around and spend that much at the other? Unless they were very much more expensive than we were.

I also had to step back since, well I know for a fact that I am NOT a liar. I would never lie to a customer! Especially one of my phone-in customers! I always try my best to be good to customers, ESPECIALLY my phone in customers. I treat them as if they came into the store themselves! And for that they are always appreciative, but I really don't mind not doing Barb's anymore.

I really shouldn't rant about work, but that's all I really got to rant about anyways.

Aries stereotypes and horoscope bullshit.

Is it just me or do those Horoscope Tumblr posts give the rudest/meanest things to the aries?


 It always depicts us all as angry bastards who want nothing but to fight people. Which sometimes yeah, I get angry and frustrated-but people who buy into that will look at aries and want to stay away from us. Which to be honest, really isn't fair. If I'm pushed enough, yeah I turn into a major witch-but that's only if you push me.


I just feel like it's unfair to assume we're all a certain way because of how our horoscopes tell us we act.

I need my muse back.

As someone who used to write a lot, I try to keep up on it even though right now it's just fanfiction. If I could I would write my own, but my mind is fogged with anything else that I can't think of anything but that. It's sad, I know-but hopefully this is just temporary and it's a door that'll lead to more of my own original ideas.

 I just hope it comes soon, I don't want to be fifty and still haven't written anything. Other than that, not much is going on. I can't really say much, cause all I do anymore is go to work and come home to babysit [Monday-wednesday].

There's this girl at work though that drives everyone insane basically. No matter how many times we tell her the rules, she still doesn't follow them and then she acts like it's our fault for getting mad. I don't know what to do about her, considering the boss has told her a lot of times and I can't really fire her either myself. I wish I could though! She'd be gone by now if that were the case. Anyways, that's all.

I only work three days this week.

While I asked for the days off, looking at my hours makes me cringe for whatever reason. I wonder if this will effect my insurance, but I'm also thinking of trying to work the monday I requested off. We were supposed to be going out of state, but we're only going to Park City for a day and a half-then maybe coming back Friday night. I'm also considering asking/begging for more hours. Hopefully he doesn't take it as 'yes I will work saturdays' but more or less I will work 8-5 or even 7-4 everyday. I figured I earned it, right? I'm always too anxious to talk to the manager/boss though. Hopefully this works out. Anyways, goodnight.

HELLO

I decided to keep up another blog, not like I do on tumblr at least. Here will rest my personal thoughts on certain things that go on in my life. That is all for now.