About my life.

I'm pretty sure I'm not unique in growing up listening to music. So this isn't going to be a post about how I'm 'special' because my parents listened to the Beatles, the Eagles, Carlos Santana etc. and I happened to like them.

I also grew up with six older siblings, being the youngest out of seven. Needless to say my music influence is based on what my brothers/sister listen to. Though despite this, I feel like we all have our own personal taste in music and what bands/musicians we like. If you know me, my favorite band is the GazettE and has been for over 9 years now.

My interests for the longest time strayed towards the Japanese spectrum of music, with a side of Lady Gaga and Paramore and Flyleaf. And Linkin Park. [Okay, let's move forward before I start listing all the musicians I listen to.]

I'm going to admit however, when it comes to music-I am very stubborn.

I do love songs I can dance to [Lady Gaga], and I love music I can chill to [Misterwives]. I love discovering new music, however I love doing that on my own terms. If you tell me that I will LOVE a band, most likely I will ward off listening to them for a long time. My brother does this with me, especially when it comes to Japanese music. [Case in point-Maximum the Hormone. I'm sure they are very talented, I'm just a stubborn mule.]

When I get interested in a band, if it turns out well for me-I sit and I listen to their entire discography. I look up lyrics, I download from itunes and all that jazz. If I like them a little, I get the songs I do like and I have a few songs on my Ipod from them. [This bothers my sister, but meh]

When Aoi [from the GazettE] tweeted about this album he absolutely loved, from a band he loved-I thought to myself. "Well if Aoi thinks they're good, maybe I will too!"

And so, I listened to Six Feet Under by coldrain.

This was about 9 months [?] ago. Since then I spent countless days discovering more of their music, and growing to love them as a band.  I haven't really done something like this since Flyleaf, and defintiely not since the GazettE/Kagrra.

Before I get to the concert bit, I want people to realize this about me. Though I don't know for certain, I tend to suffer from social [?] anxiety, and I've dealt with bouts of depression. Most days I feel stuck, hell last Saturday I didn't even leave bed. I don't ever wanna leave bed unless I absolutely have to nowadays.

Listening to the GazettE was my safe-haven. Reading their interviews was my safe-haven, being in the FANDOM used to be my safe-haven. While the fandom has indeed become more toxic than I'd like to admit-it's still my safe-haven to a certain extent. I use this as my escape from having to deal with my actual emotions, and my own problems. Probably not the healthiest thing for me to do, but it's what I got.

So when I discovered Coldrain, I was really surprised to find another band I could use to help me throughout the day. Not only that, Masato's lyrics of keep pushing forward with life and fighting through things helped me a lot.

And when I learned that I had an opportunity to see them live, I jumped on it. I went to the nearest smiths and got the tickets. [lol I had to get one for my brother too, since my dad thinks I'm gonna die at a Lindsey Stirling Concert of all places-so I figured he wouldn't want me to do this alone either.] I was so excited, I even ran in my house to scream at my friend [Reida] about it. [Well, more capslocking her to death]

Last Sunday I finally saw them. It was a small venue, and I was so close I felt like I could touch them. I almost cried! [I also waved at RxYxO and he waved back at me-idk if he really did actually- and I died]

Aside from that, I also discovered even MORE MUSIC. Northlane is awesome and I even met a local band called Divisions!

After Coldrain's set I got a high five from Masato, and even as I type this out now the whole set/experience is imprinted in my mind. I can remember almost everything. I've been to a lot of concerts, and I can tell you that Coldrain is the best band I've seen so far. And I've seen Linkin Park live!

I even got a picture with Masato, and met Katsuma as well! [I didn't get a picture with Katsuma, my social anxiety kicked in and I didn't want to bother him. I even was anxious about bothering Masato..]

Where am I going with this anyways? lol

I'm a very...anxious person, introverted....quiet [unless I really know you]. I don't like to be around crowds, I won't go if I don't have to.

But.....going to concerts? Especially to the bands that you love? Totally worth it.

Coldrain was worth going out of my comfort zone for. I've been having a hard time lately, and this has definitely helped lift my spirits.

So thank you Coldrain.

Thank you Northlane too.

This girl feels like she can take on the world now.