Misterwives with Panic! at the Disco at UCCU, Orem, Utah.

This is a couple of days after the concert, so I'm not going to remember much. Honestly I was only going to see Panic! because they were playing with Misterwives. Otherwise I might not have gone, though I went with a couple of coworkers.

The day started off fine, I hung out with my coworker before we were to leave. Orem is further than where I live, about an hour and a half drive. However, when we went to pick up my brothers-her car broke down in the church parking lot across the street from my house. We thought it was bad luck, but was also lucky that it didn't break down on our way down.

So I'm not going to talk about the day leading to the live, I'm just going to talk about the actual Venue and my experiences there before and during the show. The venue itself wasn't bad, it was a reasonable size even for a band like Panic! though my friends and I were surprised they didn't play the bigger arena which is Vivint arena. [Where the Utah Jazz play.]

They sold out too, so it was crowded as hell. And when we got in, we were confused as to where to go at first. So we found our seats and we could see the stage pretty well. They also had a screen so we could see the artists. They came with Saint Hotel, so before they played I told my friend I wanted to get merch.

That was a horrible idea.

The line was huge! And the merch table we saw? Wasn't even the table where our line was headed, it was on the other side of the event center. We still had another hour wait at the most, and we were already waiting like...forty minutes by the time we figured this out. We missed Saint Hotel's set because of this! And the staff members were SO rude.

[Also this girl was taking selfies in line and getting pissed that we were 'photobombing' it? like bitch, move the camera another way or stop taking selfies because you're in a crowded space....anyways.]

I told my brother, who wanted to stay in line, that I was leaving. I came for Misterwives, a measely shirt was not worth missing them for. I could always go online and buy something there. [My brother is the real MVP though, he stayed in line-got his shirt but he also got me a Misterwive shirt because he wanted me to go home with a memento.]

So we came just as Saint Motel was taking their stuff down.

Our view of the stage.

 So Misterwives set up, and then they started their set. They started playing Gene Wilder's song "Wild Imagination" [?] and I instantly knew the song they were going to start with. And sure enough, their song Imagination Infatuation started to play. When Mandy Lee Duffy came out, I admit it-I screamed a little.

Baby is so amazing live, she has this energy that I don't think I've seen any singer have. She was dancing the entire set, smiling a lot-and her voice is incredible live. She can really hit those high notes, and honestly I couldn't keep my eyes off her. She was wearing a black blouse, with this mesh material covering her chest area. She also had her hair up a little, in a little bun-though most of her hair was down.

The next song was definitely Reflections, but after that it gets a little messy. I know they played Vagabond, but they combined the song with their other song Same Drugs. Then they introduced their new song off their new album called Machines.

Mandy talked to the crowd a lot, but I could tell they were really just there to see Panic!. She talked about how music brought us all together, no matter your sexuality, race, gender, or religion. Then she introduced their last song, which was Our Own House. While I only recorded some parts of their other songs, I wished I had with this one.

They brought up three drums [?] and during the bridge Mandy, the guitarists and pianist [?] started to play the drums to the beat while dancing. It was an amazing experience, but I nearly died when they stopped and people clapped thinking they were over...and then Mandy starts singing again.

They really did put on a good show, I'm so happy to have seen them. I really wish I could meet them someday, I want to tell Mandy how insanely talented she is....

So onto Panic.....

So I didn't get a picture of it, but they put a counter on the screen as a ten minute warning. So people cheered whenever the clock changed.

When they did come out, I was actually in shock at the light show, and the screen. I haven't been to a big concert since Linkin Park, and even then they didn't do something quite like this. [Though Linkin Park had a pretty bad ass set up.] So because I'm lazy, I screenshot the setlist because quite honestly I'm not big into Panic! so I didn't know half the songs.

So just a couple of quick notes on Panic! Brendon really is talented, and they put on a pretty good show. I was impressed with the light show, the atmosphere, and honestly they got me dancing even if I didn't know the songs. So it was a fun concert overall. A few things I remember, but they're out of order and I don't remember some of the songs it happened during.

• During This is Gospel, he sang on a platform away from the stage and closer to us. I mean, right by where the sound tech is. He was playing it on the piano, and as he sang the platform [which was round by the way] rose up and petals/confetti fell from the ceiling.  After this, he ran into the crowd to get back to the stage while singing 'Death of a Bachelor'. 
• They played a segment on screen where Brendon is seemingly kidnapped and Pete Wentz popped up on screen saying "Brendon, you got to wake up!" or something like that. I don't remember. 
• He did a backflip off the third step on stage.
• He also talked about how he loved Journey, Billy Joel, and Phil Collins as a kid and that's when he started singing "Movin' Out". 
• During Nine in the Afternoon, the Piano slid out with him on it from under the drums.
• I think during Let's Kill Tonight, the other members left for a moment and he ran to play guitar, then to play the drums. 
• He talked about how the band has been together for 13 years, then joked about playing a new song from their new album only to play "I Write Sins Not Tragedies." 
• I remember him saying "I love you guys, so god damn much" before playing Victorous.
• During Girls/Girls/Boys they played pro-LGBQT stuff on screen while everyone held colored hearts to their phone's flashlights. [I didn't get to, I didn't know that was a thing :C]
• He hit a lot of high notes. To which the crowd tried to hit higher notes. 
• I know during Ballad of Mona Lisa, every single person was singing it. Even me.

 That's all I remember, and honestly after the concert I was so tired that I didn't think to write of a live report. The parking lot was horrible to get out of.

Overall the concert experience was great, the actual show I mean. It's just that staff seemed unorganized, and unwilling to help those who needed help. Plus those around me sort of annoyed me, but Panic! brings a lot of teenagers.

Anyway, I'd probably see them again. I give them a 10/10.

My favorite GazettE PV's part 1.

With the GazettE's 15th anniversary already come and gone, I would like to make a list of my personal favorite PV's from them. They certainly had their fair share of interesting ones, but these are just a few of my favorites.

Because of Youtube's ban, some of them I will have to lead you to their VEVO account.

Guren

Of course when I first saw Guren, I was a tiny bit confused....as I usually am when it comes to the GazettE PV's. But I still liked the music video, I sort of liked interpreting what the meaning was and why was this girl painting the room white? A fan explained it on a forum, but I can't find the post right now [well, I'm just too lazy right now] so I'll try to explain it to the best of my ability.

Now this is a fan's interpretation, but considering what Guren is supposedly about it makes sense.

So the tap, is sort of like...the penis. So it's obvious what the white stuff is, right? This is where it got a little confusing to me, but I'll try my best to explain. So the girl represents the fetus, when she is in her red dress and when the room is still red-she is moving. Meaning she is alive. However there are different parts of the video, particularly when the band members are playing-she is wearing a white dress and the walls are painted white.

So fan theory is, which again might not be a theory at all and what it means is that....well when she is red and moving...she [the fetus] is alive. However, when the room is white and she is wearing white-she isn't moving. Which might indicate that she is dead, that the mother who is pregnant either had an abortion or a miscarriage.

Considering that Guren is written in the mother's point of view, the first thing Ruki sings is "Gomen ne" so the mother feels regret of this baby dying. 

[Correction: The girl might be the embryo, though I'm not sure if there's a specific term they wanted to use for the girl.] 

Taion

So Taion is still an enigma to me, meaning that I don't really fully understand it. Which is why I find myself watching it over and over again to see if I can figure it out myself. If someone knows the meaning to the PV, I would love to hear it. But whenever I look it up, it comes up with the theory that the song was written specifically about Junko Furata.

However, it was later proven that Ruki did not write the song about her. It's just a rumor that flew around, and was stated as fact so much that fans take that it as just that. He stated that the song is just about something that shocked both him and Reita, and he did not specify exactly what it was. There could be a possibility he saw the story of Junko Furata, but as far as I know he never confirmed this.

Due to the nature of the music video, I am certain that it has to do with some sort of kidnapping or killing of a young child. [It might not even be a girl, but who knows?]

One thing that stuck out to me was the butterfly, and I don't know why. Could do something to do with innocence, and it being taken away from the victim. 

I really like this PV however, honestly it's one of my top favorites from them.

Chizuru

I might be a little bias when it comes this, because Chizuru is one of my favorite songs from the GazettE And off STACKED RUBBISH. The music video doesn't seem to be hard to interpret, I really liked the feel of it and honestly if I can be so.....fangirly [? is that a word? idk] I really think that the boys really looked good in this music video.

It seems to be a song about losing someone, wanting to be together but knowing that you can't. "Two people can't be together." My friend once translated this for me, but I've long since lost the translation so I can't really say.

I don't know what else to say about this PV, so I'll just move on to the next.

UGLY

UGLY is one of my favorites out of their heavier songs, whenever I'm feeling in a bad mood I go and listen to this song to get all my anger out. And honestly out of their newer PV's, I do think that I like UGLY the best. 

It's sort of obvious what the people in the PV represent, though I could be wrong about a few of them. The girl in the beginning who is smoking is PRIDE, the nun looking lady and the shirtless guy are LUST, the two-headed people are SLOTH, the guy shoving his face in the bowl GLUTTONY, the lady with the mirror was obviously ENVY, then there was GREED, and the guy who throws Pride is WRATH. 

The seven deadly sins, which I found interesting. I was always waiting for Ruki to touch up on that subject, because I felt it was something he would do. And I'm glad he did it in this way.

--

That's it for part 1 of my favorite PV's, I'm sure I'll make a longer list but it's late and I need to go to bed.

So what are some of your favorite PV's of theirs?

Western music vs Japanese music.

I can understand why some music is important to people, whether or not I like that genre of music or not. I can also understand that some people just like to listen to music to have a good time, that it doesn't have to have a deep meaning behind it for them to enjoy it. It's just a means of entertainment that we all use after a long stressful day or week. 

We live in a culture where we all love to go to concerts with friends, and family. Whether it be big named musicians or even local artists, it doesn't matter. 

Which is why I never understood the J-rock fandom, and their need to criticize every little aspect of other genres of music out there. I'm sure that we have our fair share of those in other genres, even in the K-pop fandom [don't get me started there]-but since I'm not as active there I want to concentrate on what I'm familiar with.

I said before how long I've been a fan, so I don't want to delve into how long I've been in this fandom and how often I would see it. I admit it when I was in High School, I was a little obnoxious about it-but when you grow up you mature and I've certainly grew out of this phase. But I see it in youtube comments, sometimes on tumblr. 

J-rock fans love their bands, I can understand that. I certainly have my favorites, would love to see them all and adore what they can do. Despite some language barriers, I can enjoy the music because if I want to know what they're saying I can either look up translations or learn Japanese myself. [I'm a little lazy, so I do the former.] 

Yet I've never wanted to say I outright hated Western music either. Because they're not necessarily bad either. I mean I have my fair share of English-based bands that I love, have seen in concert and would see them again if I ever had a chance. [Case in point: Linkin Park]. I just recently discovered Disturbed's lead singer has a spectacular voice. 

It doesn't matter what nationality or where you're from, there are talented musicians out there if you're willing to search for them. Of course you're not going to like them all, by no means do I like any of Justin Beiber's music. But there's no denying that little snot has a little bit of talent, that some people do find hope in his music or simply enjoy it for what it is. 

That's fine with me, if that's their music preference than who am I to criticize them?

And that's where I get to my point.

It's not necessarily that some J-rock fans tend to put down the Western musicians, it's that they tend to act superior to those who listen to them. We talk about how we're all made fun of for listening to Japanese music, that we're all so bullied and hated and alone. But then some turn around and do the same thing to those who listen to Western music.

Listening to Japanese music, I'm going to sound rude-it doesn't make you special. It means you have a special interest in these things, and that's fine and dandy. But you're no better than the person sitting at home jamming out to Paramore or All Time Low. You're no better than the girl who just spent her entire paycheck on a ticket to see Justin Beiber or any other famous musician.

We all have our interests, we all have that one genre or band that we all love. Some of us just love about everything, and that is fine. That's what makes the world go round. If you're leaving comments like "Ugh, why can't every band be like this one?!" how boring would that be? If everyone made music like the GazettE, wouldn't you get sick of them?

Most of us had a favorite English based band before we discovered J-rock. Being a fan of music is not a contest of who has the best taste in music, because music is subjective in a way. We're not all going to love the same things.

And that's completely fine.

Petty arguments.

There's some things that needed to be argued with, and what I mean by that I meant the more serious issues. Racism. Homophobia. Sexism. Transphobia. [The people who stereotype and fetishize an entire race, but that can fall under racism.]

I get it, most people in most fandoms are young teenagers. At that age I was impressionable, easy to lose my cool, and to dive head on into arguments. While I'm still that way, to a certain extent, it gets tiring and I just don't like dealing with it anymore. I don't care if you don't like my favorite band, or if you hate my favorite character.

It's too much of a hassle to tell you why I love these things and why you should just leave it alone.

We as human beings, we're never satisfied. Especially when it comes to music. You like what you like, if your band doesn't do what you like anymore sometimes you get angry and you bash on it. It's happened with many bands, not just the GazettE in general.

I learned to move on from a band who doesn't interest me anymore, I just simply don't listen to their newer music and leave it at that. Because a band can choose what direction they want to go with their careers, and I've learned that they don't owe a damn thing to us fans. "We're what created them." Well, yes fans are a big part of the deal-but they still have their personal freedom to do what they please with their music.

I don't know where I'm going with this, honestly I suppose I'm trying to say is....Not everyone is going to share your views. You're not going to like everyone in the fandom. I can say that in the Sixth Gun fandom alone I've accumulated a few people who disliked me and I dislike back. I ignore them and they ignore me.

It's best to eventually just move on with your life, be the mature one and if you have to stand up for yourself then do so. Also don't be afraid to stand up for your friends in the fandom.

Sometime fandoms are cruel and well, annoying.

My favorite albums.

To note this in the beginning, I'm going by my own personal tastes of what I liked. It doesn't matter if the album as a whole got good ratings with the critics or fans, if I happened to love it enough to keep listening to it five times a day it's going to be on this list.

And besides, music is rather...subjective. We all have our personal favorites and dislikes when it comes to music as a whole. While I love one band, you might loathe them-and that's fine. As long as we appreciate those differences and respect it, we're going to be cool. I see many lists on youtube about people's favorite bands and albums, and people comment 'what about this band/album?!' well my good sir, go make your own list then.

Now with that pushed aside, let's get started.

Stacked Rubbish-The GazettE

STACKED RUBBISH was the first the GazettE album I have ever owned. I'm pretty sure every person here remembers their first album from their favorite band, and that's partially the reason why this album is a personal favorite. When it came out, it sort of got bad reviews and not many fans seemed to like it aside from maybe Filth in the Beauty.

But I absolutely adore this album, my copy's case is just about beat up because of how many times I keep putting it in my boombox. [Yes, I know my computer and Ipod is a thing but....eh.] I'd say a favorite from this album is definitely Calm Envy, which I'm pleasantly surprised they're including in their TRACES BEST OF BALLADS. 

I have a lot of personal reasons for this being my favorite album, or at least one of them from the GazettE. Bare with me too, considering the fact that there are two more from this band coming your way.

VENA-coldrain 

You'd be hard pressed to find a song from coldrain that I don't like. VENA is just a prime example of how good they are, and how good they can be. After the concert I didn't stop listening to this album for weeks, it was almost as if coldrain had replaced the GazettE as my favorite band. Honestly, if I'm not listening to them, I am listening to coldrain.

This album is just a combination of great songs, with a feature from Papa Roach's Jacoby in the song Runaway. [I really want a version with just Masato though, it sounded bomb live.] 

 

 

Our Own House-Misterwives

Misterwives is a band I stumbled upon accidentally via Finding Carter. I simply liked the song Vagabond used for the show, and then I suddenly started listening to literally every song that they had out. Our Own House is an album that I play quite frequently when listening to them on Spotify, and honestly it's worth paying 12.99 a month just for that feature.

Aside from their more popular songs like Reflections and Not Your Way, my favorite song off the album will have to be Oceans. It's a really good song, and Mandy Lee's voice is really soothing when I need something to calm myself down with.

Badlands-Halsey

My friend introduced me to her, well I already knew who she was-but she made me want to listen to her. And though I don't listen to it as much, I still catch myself jamming out to it here and there. It really is a good album, and Halsey really is a good artist. Possibly a favorite off the album is the song Colors, but like my friend-happen to like the stripped version better.

For some reason listening to that reminds me of being in California.

Beautiful Deformity-the GazettE

 

Honestly speaking, when it comes to the GazettE....their album DIVISION wasn't my favorite. I thought 'Okay, cool-maybe I'm just not a fan of their direction anymore.' But Beautiful Deformity restored that faith in them. When I first heard TO DAZZLING DARKNESS, I was in awe and happy that they were making good music again.

I'm not saying DIVISION was bad, I just didn't like most of the songs. Or cared for them. 

So it was nice to have Beautiful Deformity come out, at least for me.

 

DIM-theGazettE 

 

I was going to place another album before this one, so it didn't seem like a 'my favorite GazettE albums' list. But I couldn't think of any other albums that I listen to more than these ones. So DIM it is. I want to say that NIL is in tie with this album, as far as how much I listen to it-but I placed DIM simply because it was unique from their other albums.

I wasn't sure what it was, but I really like the dark undertone it seemed to have. And honestly I hope they do an album almost like it. My favorite era was DIM as well. 

--

While I would love to do more, I have to sleep. [lol] So I will simply leave it at this for now. 

What about you?

What are your favorite albums by your favorite artists?

What is coldrain to me?

I say this a lot, but there wasn't a band that impressed me like the GazettE until coldrain. While they're two different types of music, I can appreciate the differences in them both and enjoy them to the fullest.

I was a casual listener, and though I was highly excited to see them for the first time at the Loading Dock-it wasn't until after the show that it really spiraled. I discovered them because Aoi tweeted about their album "The Revelation" and I was intrigued. It was about two years I believe that I was listening to them periodically, and then they announced their show in Salt Lake.

Meeting Masato the first time.

Granted, I read reviews of their performances beforehand to sort of get a feel of what they were like. And people had nothing but good things to say, and I wasn't disappointed. I was one of the first people in the venue, so I secured a spot at the front of the stage. I was right in front of Sugi. [I believe he kind of spit on me a little, but we alright Sugi. We alright.]

I'm not going to talk about their performance, but about how it meant to actually see them and meet the two members I did meet that night. [I sort of met Ryo? If you count waving at him, and him waving back as meeting.]

Masato was really kind, case in point-he allowed me to take a photo with him. I didn't expect to run into him after the show, but the venue was small and I ran into him again three more times. [I promise...I wasn't stalking him.] My brother talked to him a bit I think about merch, but they didn't accept cards so I had to run and grab cash from the nearest gas station. When I came back, it was Katsuma running the merch table.

Katsuma is really sweet, honestly. I was scared of him at first, because in pictures and even on stage he seemed a little intimidating. I wasn't sure what it was, but I asked about the hoodie and as an afterthought I said I would also buy their Vena Album. He smiled sweetly and said "thank you!" while processing the purchase. I thought about asking him to sign it, but my nervousness kicked into highgear and I just thanked him and left. [Without a photo too ;-;]

In the weeks that led after the concert, I listened to VENA and the Revelation albums nonstop. I don't know what it was, I didn't pay attention to anything else but coldrain. And it was surprising to me considering I never had a band do this before to me after I got into the GazettE. I've had bands I've liked, and listened to-but I would just eventually either stop or just casually listen to them.

But I listen to coldrain almost everyday. I don't care what time of day it is, whether I'm on my lunchbreak or at home-I'm playing one of their albums. And honestly it feels good, they make me feel like I can make it through the day.

I was super sad that I didn't get to see them when they came back with Silverstein, but....it was either go to Vegas to see them OR see the GazettE in California and you all know what I chose. But I was soon blessed to hear they were coming back for Warped. I was on edge about seeing them honestly, but I got tickets anyways.

This time around, I tried not to be too shy. I tried to talk to them, tell them how good they were-but alas I was shy again. I could barely tell Masato I saw them at their first show in Salt Lake, and his response was to smile and say 'thank you'. It meant a lot to me however, for me to turn the corner and to lock eyes with Katsuma. He greeted me with a smile, even though it wasn't quite my turn.

I asked them to sign their album 'the Revelation', and then before I left I asked Katsuma for a hug. I talk about this a lot, but it really meant a lot. Masato offered a hug too, and so I hugged the rest. I remember certain things about each member when I hugged them too!

So Katsuma just gave me a quick hug, but I think he hugged a little tighter. I wonder if he knows......that he's my favorite. Masato was sweet as always, as I said as soon as he saw me hug Katsuma he was like 'hey' and opened his arms. Ryo was just like 'oh hugs? Okay.' it seemed like, same with Sugi. He just went with it.

But Yoko almost killed me, he gave me a squeeze with a big smile on his face. He was like "Have a good day!" and honestly whenever I feel bad about something....I remember that. I think to myself, "Yoko wants me to have a good day, and god dammit I will have a good day!"

[Where am I even going with this?]

I feel that, like the GazettE, coldrain is a band that will help me get through the day. They give me strength, not only to make it through hard times-but to also stand up for what I believe in.

[I'd like to know that the drum tech they had for Warped Tour, totally watched me sing along to Wrong and laughed. So thanks...drum tech guy.]

[I also caught Sugi's guitar pic, it's in my purse. <3]

Being apart of a fandom, while not entirely being in it.

Not sure if the title made sense, but I hope by explaining to the best of my ability I will be able to convey my feelings.

I've been in different fandoms for almost 15 years now, whether it was a fandom to a certain anime show I happened to like at the time or a movie fandom. Though I made friends from these fandoms, and lost contact with most-I feel like the most influential fandom I have been has been the Sixth Gun fandom.

For better or for worse, I was connected to this fandom through many different ways of social media. It started with deviantart, but ultimately I found myself using my twitter platform more than anything else.

I used to rant a lot in the beginning, because certain things frustrated me and I was willing to get into fights with half the fandom over it. Whether it was over HERESY leaked photos [which still upsets me, come on] or even just stupid comments that I felt were unnecessary. I've learned to block out those who don't matter, talk to those that do; and keep to myself.

I do this because I don't want the GazettE to be something that is tainted, I don't want to look back on my years of being a fan and think 'Wow, that was really unpleasant.' And of course there are going to be moments where things are unpleasant, and I get upset. But I feel like it's best to let go of the reigns and let people be their own stubborn selves.

The last time I got into a fight was with a fan who generalized an entire ethnic fanbase based on the actions of a few fans. What was said really upset me, and even seeing their url now bothers me which is why I stray from tumblr anymore. I look back at it and still find it unpleasant to think of, and also another person who I won't mention argued with me about lives being cut short when that rumor was never true.

Fans are stubborn, they have their opinions and they voice them even if it may sound harsh. Fans whine about the CD's,|Merch|DVD's being too expensive and wanting them for free. I had a fan accuse me of having a lot of money for buying the CD's, when I work a minimum wage job and can barely afford to get a lot of the merch.

And HERESY? Well that's just another argument, but I'm not here to talk about that.

I've made and lost friends in the fandom, and I've learned that I'm okay with the very few people I talk to via twitter. I follow some too, and just lurk on their pages and laugh at some of the things they will say.

It's more relaxing, and whenever drama pops up I'll watch from afar and just take a deep breathe. Of course if anyone is coming after my friends, or anyone in my inner circle without any plausible reasons to then I will probably join in if it's warranted.

But over the course of the last year, when I made the personal decision to not be a huge part of the tumblr fandom and even the entire fandom as a whole; I felt more relaxed. Of course I still fangirl with what little people I talk to now, but it's still nice. Because I don't have to worry about pleasing everyone.

And I don't have to worry about offending everyone, or even being offended. If we're upset with each other, which is rare, we talk civilly about it and move on with our lives. Most of the people I'm friends with are adults, and it's nice to talk to people who act their age.

I learned that I don't have to be a fan of the GazettE or any band to impress anyone either.

It really is nice, not paying attention to most of the fandom anymore. Really nice.

[Side note: I'm not saying 'the Sixth Gun fandom is horrible and I hate you' I'm just saying that I can't be that involved anymore. If that made sense.]