Being apart of a fandom, while not entirely being in it.

Not sure if the title made sense, but I hope by explaining to the best of my ability I will be able to convey my feelings.

I've been in different fandoms for almost 15 years now, whether it was a fandom to a certain anime show I happened to like at the time or a movie fandom. Though I made friends from these fandoms, and lost contact with most-I feel like the most influential fandom I have been has been the Sixth Gun fandom.

For better or for worse, I was connected to this fandom through many different ways of social media. It started with deviantart, but ultimately I found myself using my twitter platform more than anything else.

I used to rant a lot in the beginning, because certain things frustrated me and I was willing to get into fights with half the fandom over it. Whether it was over HERESY leaked photos [which still upsets me, come on] or even just stupid comments that I felt were unnecessary. I've learned to block out those who don't matter, talk to those that do; and keep to myself.

I do this because I don't want the GazettE to be something that is tainted, I don't want to look back on my years of being a fan and think 'Wow, that was really unpleasant.' And of course there are going to be moments where things are unpleasant, and I get upset. But I feel like it's best to let go of the reigns and let people be their own stubborn selves.

The last time I got into a fight was with a fan who generalized an entire ethnic fanbase based on the actions of a few fans. What was said really upset me, and even seeing their url now bothers me which is why I stray from tumblr anymore. I look back at it and still find it unpleasant to think of, and also another person who I won't mention argued with me about lives being cut short when that rumor was never true.

Fans are stubborn, they have their opinions and they voice them even if it may sound harsh. Fans whine about the CD's,|Merch|DVD's being too expensive and wanting them for free. I had a fan accuse me of having a lot of money for buying the CD's, when I work a minimum wage job and can barely afford to get a lot of the merch.

And HERESY? Well that's just another argument, but I'm not here to talk about that.

I've made and lost friends in the fandom, and I've learned that I'm okay with the very few people I talk to via twitter. I follow some too, and just lurk on their pages and laugh at some of the things they will say.

It's more relaxing, and whenever drama pops up I'll watch from afar and just take a deep breathe. Of course if anyone is coming after my friends, or anyone in my inner circle without any plausible reasons to then I will probably join in if it's warranted.

But over the course of the last year, when I made the personal decision to not be a huge part of the tumblr fandom and even the entire fandom as a whole; I felt more relaxed. Of course I still fangirl with what little people I talk to now, but it's still nice. Because I don't have to worry about pleasing everyone.

And I don't have to worry about offending everyone, or even being offended. If we're upset with each other, which is rare, we talk civilly about it and move on with our lives. Most of the people I'm friends with are adults, and it's nice to talk to people who act their age.

I learned that I don't have to be a fan of the GazettE or any band to impress anyone either.

It really is nice, not paying attention to most of the fandom anymore. Really nice.

[Side note: I'm not saying 'the Sixth Gun fandom is horrible and I hate you' I'm just saying that I can't be that involved anymore. If that made sense.]