About my life.

I'm pretty sure I'm not unique in growing up listening to music. So this isn't going to be a post about how I'm 'special' because my parents listened to the Beatles, the Eagles, Carlos Santana etc. and I happened to like them.

I also grew up with six older siblings, being the youngest out of seven. Needless to say my music influence is based on what my brothers/sister listen to. Though despite this, I feel like we all have our own personal taste in music and what bands/musicians we like. If you know me, my favorite band is the GazettE and has been for over 9 years now.

My interests for the longest time strayed towards the Japanese spectrum of music, with a side of Lady Gaga and Paramore and Flyleaf. And Linkin Park. [Okay, let's move forward before I start listing all the musicians I listen to.]

I'm going to admit however, when it comes to music-I am very stubborn.

I do love songs I can dance to [Lady Gaga], and I love music I can chill to [Misterwives]. I love discovering new music, however I love doing that on my own terms. If you tell me that I will LOVE a band, most likely I will ward off listening to them for a long time. My brother does this with me, especially when it comes to Japanese music. [Case in point-Maximum the Hormone. I'm sure they are very talented, I'm just a stubborn mule.]

When I get interested in a band, if it turns out well for me-I sit and I listen to their entire discography. I look up lyrics, I download from itunes and all that jazz. If I like them a little, I get the songs I do like and I have a few songs on my Ipod from them. [This bothers my sister, but meh]

When Aoi [from the GazettE] tweeted about this album he absolutely loved, from a band he loved-I thought to myself. "Well if Aoi thinks they're good, maybe I will too!"

And so, I listened to Six Feet Under by coldrain.

This was about 9 months [?] ago. Since then I spent countless days discovering more of their music, and growing to love them as a band.  I haven't really done something like this since Flyleaf, and defintiely not since the GazettE/Kagrra.

Before I get to the concert bit, I want people to realize this about me. Though I don't know for certain, I tend to suffer from social [?] anxiety, and I've dealt with bouts of depression. Most days I feel stuck, hell last Saturday I didn't even leave bed. I don't ever wanna leave bed unless I absolutely have to nowadays.

Listening to the GazettE was my safe-haven. Reading their interviews was my safe-haven, being in the FANDOM used to be my safe-haven. While the fandom has indeed become more toxic than I'd like to admit-it's still my safe-haven to a certain extent. I use this as my escape from having to deal with my actual emotions, and my own problems. Probably not the healthiest thing for me to do, but it's what I got.

So when I discovered Coldrain, I was really surprised to find another band I could use to help me throughout the day. Not only that, Masato's lyrics of keep pushing forward with life and fighting through things helped me a lot.

And when I learned that I had an opportunity to see them live, I jumped on it. I went to the nearest smiths and got the tickets. [lol I had to get one for my brother too, since my dad thinks I'm gonna die at a Lindsey Stirling Concert of all places-so I figured he wouldn't want me to do this alone either.] I was so excited, I even ran in my house to scream at my friend [Reida] about it. [Well, more capslocking her to death]

Last Sunday I finally saw them. It was a small venue, and I was so close I felt like I could touch them. I almost cried! [I also waved at RxYxO and he waved back at me-idk if he really did actually- and I died]

Aside from that, I also discovered even MORE MUSIC. Northlane is awesome and I even met a local band called Divisions!

After Coldrain's set I got a high five from Masato, and even as I type this out now the whole set/experience is imprinted in my mind. I can remember almost everything. I've been to a lot of concerts, and I can tell you that Coldrain is the best band I've seen so far. And I've seen Linkin Park live!

I even got a picture with Masato, and met Katsuma as well! [I didn't get a picture with Katsuma, my social anxiety kicked in and I didn't want to bother him. I even was anxious about bothering Masato..]

Where am I going with this anyways? lol

I'm a very...anxious person, introverted....quiet [unless I really know you]. I don't like to be around crowds, I won't go if I don't have to.

But.....going to concerts? Especially to the bands that you love? Totally worth it.

Coldrain was worth going out of my comfort zone for. I've been having a hard time lately, and this has definitely helped lift my spirits.

So thank you Coldrain.

Thank you Northlane too.

This girl feels like she can take on the world now.

Dear LDS Leaders and other LDS members.

When I was in primary I learned the articles of faith. Though to be honest I could not tell you all of them, but I do remember one saying that we are not responsible for Adam's transgression. So that meant we were not at fault for our parents choices, but our own-we are accountable for our own lives and mistakes.

So why are you taking the parent's lifestyle out on innocent children? I thought being baptized was supposed to be the child's decision, so why are you taking it away from them simply because the parents are gay? Why are they expected to revoke their parents the day they turn 18 to even be eligible to join your Church?

Why do they have to turn away from the people who cared for them and raised them?

You preach and preach that family is the most important thing that we have on this planet, so why are you telling these children they are not welcome in your family because of how their parents are? These children are loved, cared for-and happy. If they want to find faith in your religion their parents are not going to stop them, but you are making it clear that these children are not welcome.

When they turn 18, they will not even think to come to your house. They will not consider the church, because they had ten years to lament over the fact that you turned them away when they were the most vulnerable.

And to the LDS members who are blindly defending this-may I ask you a question. Why are you so blind?

Have faith in what you want, you have the freedom-but why do you support the freedom of those children being taken away? Why do you support families being torn apart? Why do you expect those children to be molded into your perfect ideology, when all these children want from you is to be accepted?

When I was 8 I was told I needed to be baptized, and I had the freedom to do so. I only did it because it was expected of me, but I was still able to.

Why do you expect people to respect your faith and your beliefs, when your Church Leaders are turning away the most innocent of beings because their parents happen to be gay? Why do you expect people to come to your faith when all they do is tear others down for being who they are, hiding behind a facade of 'support' and 'love'.

This is not love.

This is bigotry at it's finest.

So Church Leaders, why are you turning the innocent away from being closer to God? While I may not believe in the faith myself, I wish for everyone to have the freedom to believe in what they want.

You're turning people away, and it's your own fault.