"When will you have children?" Never. Stop asking.

This is something most girls are asked, and definitely something that was rooted in my brain since the day I joined Young Womens.

Personally, I've never wanted children. While I don't hate children, I just don't see myself ever being a mother and I definitely do not have the time for it. I'm tired a lot, and with the career I want to go into I would require time to focus on myself rather than worry whether or not Sally had a nap. [I know, that sounded cruel-but it's the truth]

I've been watching my nephew since he was an infant. And I can tell you one thing, children are selfish. Of course they're still learning, but every time Harley throws a tantrum because he didn't get something-I age. Well, I'm aging either way-but that's how it feels like. When I get off a seven hour shift, after having worked since the early mornings-I just can't deal with his tantrums and his pouting.

I'm stressed out because I got yelled at by Miss Johnson because her soda pop didn't ring up at the right price. Or my boss thought I wasn't doing the job I was supposed to be doing even though my other supervisor told me to do it.

I get turned off by the thought of children as well.

I met this guy at work, who worked for Coke [and he was in the military]. For whatever reason we started to talk, and exchange numbers. He was a pretty nice guy, don't get me wrong-and I didn't even care that he had a kid. But when he asked me out on a date-the first thing he told me was that he wanted another child and suggested that we could make cute children.

I never wanted to talk to him again. [I also found out he had another child, so...] That whole entire date was awkward after that, he even did that stupid pretend to yawn and put his arm around my shoulder thing. The only reason I let him was because he was my ride home from the movie, I didn't want to have to call my dad to come get me.

It appears also that whenever I went on one date, or seemed like a date-my mom announced it to everyone. The Relief Society, the people in her ward, her work-my cousins. It didn't matter who or where we were-she had to say "Well Ashley got a date this friday night! The boy is in the military!"

"Oh when will you get married and have kids?"

What?

What?!

I went on one date, even after that I still stopped talking to him and I went back to dating my ex girlfriend. At least if I was dating her there were no expectations of babies coming out of my vag. [Then she said that if we had kids, I was gonna be the one who was getting pregnant. Fuck that shit.]

Two years later and I meet my current boyfriend. [I met him at a bar at an anime convention-how nerdy can one get?] And I will state that I'm usually not that outgoing, the only words I intended to say to him was "can I sit here?" cause we were sitting in a fire pit. He said yes and then I continued to babble to him about stupid shit.

[I don't even remember what I talked about, all I remember is that I was like "Lets go to the rave" and we proceeded to just stand there and go back to the bar. Hm. Then he ditched me for rum. Which he will deny, but he did.]

When we started dating officially, once again my mom went to her friends and I got bombarded with questions of the same sort. I choose to simply stay silent in these situations, as my parent's friends tend to think that two months of a relationship automatically means we're ready for marriage. It's just something that's expected of girls around my area, but something I never really thought of.

If a girl brings up the fact that she doesn't want children, do not tell her that she is going to change her mind. 


I have lost count of how many people have told me this, especially from my own family. Hearing it from them is annoying enough, I do not need to hear it from you. My brother's friend [who is annoying btw] got into an argument with me about this.

Him: So when are you and your bf gonna get married and have kids?
Me: I don't want kids.
Him: What about him?
Me: ...He doesn't want kids either.
Him: You're gonna change your mind.
Me: Nope.
Him: Yes!
Me: Nope.

Excuse me? Are you suddenly an expert on what I want with my life?

So before you ask this question to a girl, if she tells you no-take it how it is.

No, means no.
 

Let's talk about Aoi!

If you know me at all, you'll all know that I'm a super fan of Aoi.

When I first saw him back in my Sophomore year of High School, I was awestruck. I thought to myself, 'who is this beautiful creature and what can I do to learn more about him?'. I never thought I would continue on with this, as back in the day I had phases where I would fangirl over a guy [like Billy Joe Armstrong, AND the singer for Simple Plan, etc] and it would just simply be dropped a couple of months later.

Not Aoi.

This obsession, if that's what you want to call it-spans on for almost a decade. Yes, I just admitted it to everyone. I have been a fangirl of the GazettE for that long, and my bias as always been Aoi for just as long.

When I got into J-rock bands the thing I loved most was to look up interviews, and I did a lot of that with Kagrra,. So it's no surprise that I would do the same once I got into the GazettE, but I found myself caring more what Aoi said than what the others had the say. I'm going to even admit that I skipped what Reita and the others had to say in favor of what Aoi said-no matter how grumpy he was.

And he's pretty grumpy! I mean the guy flat out says 'this is stupid' a lot in interviews. Wouldn't want to be the one interviewing him at that point. But then again, he is me. Yes, I love Aoi so much because I relate to him a lot.

The thing that attracted me at first was how Aoi played the guitar. He is a wonderful guitar player, especially when it comes to solos. Case in point: Sugar Pain|Nausea&Shudder|Cassis|Without a Trace and so on. Also, he is a GREAT composers. As far as my knowledge goes, he did compose Sugar Pain and he composed Burial Applicant.

If you don't know me, you must know-I am a sucker for acoustic guitar and any sort of guitar. I mean, I grew up on Carlos Santana AND Michelle Branch for hell's sake.  Aoi does this very well, and it saddens me at times when I read interviews where he talks about how he doesn't have that skill. He doesn't seem to have any confidence in himself, though you wouldn't know by watching him onstage.

Look at him, this just SCREAMS confidence right?

Don't get me wrong-I like Uruha and he's a talented guitar player! But he overshadows Aoi a lot, and it's sort of upsetting for me when fans say that it's the other way around. Because it really isn't! I hear about how Uruha is a wonderful guitarist [AND HE IS] but let's give credit to the rhythm guitarist as well! If anything, Aoi deserves to have as many solos as Uruha does! I mean, we all heard Nausea&Shudder right, RIGHT?!

Aoi and Uruha, well despite all this-they play well together. You don't find a lot of bands where both the lead and rhythm have solos-and I'm glad that they implement each other's strong suits. And I'm sure they argue a bit-I mean they're in a band, it'd be frightening if they didn't argue. But I'm so happy that Aoi never left like he intended to.

Aoi didn't leave because of the fans. And possibly because Ruki and Uruha sat him down, but I believe most of it was due to the fans.

If Aoi left the GazettE, I couldn't handle it.

Let me get to the last point of this post and that's who Aoi is as a person. We all know from his twitter that he's quite the sensitive guy, and he has a lot of opinions that we all don't agree with from time to time. That is just who he is as a person, and this may just me being extremely bias-but I accept him for it.

There is not a single person in that band/crew that is perfect.

Though one thing for sure, if you're a friend of Aoi's-you're going to get treated well. Aoi cares about his friends, does things for them. He's the big brother who wants to take care of everyone and I LOVE HIM FOR IT.

THIS IS WHY I LOVE AOI.

I will scream to the heavens about this until I can no longer scream.

Whether you believe it or not-Lady Gaga HAS talent.

Now if you don't believe it-I kindly lead you to these songs.

Speechless.

Dance in the Dark

Also let's not forget about her tribute to Julie Andrews in her rendition of the Sound of Music. 

I get it, we all have different music tastes-but one things for certain. Lady Gaga has a set of lungs for her, and she can sing. I understand why people might not like her, but she knows how to get attention-and it's attention that she so deserves. I have never seen a musician like her, that loves what she does and loves her fans so much.

Lady Gaga writes all of her songs, she even wrote some songs for Britney Spears and the Pussycat Dolls. [Kesha is also a song-writer, who wrote songs for multiple people-but that's a post for another time!]

So every song on every one of her albums, is her own creation.